I remember being immediately drawn to the concept of solo dates when I first learned about them after coming across videos on TikTok and YouTube. Why wouldn’t you want to take yourself out and treat yourself to a day dedicated just for you? After all, you deserve to shower yourself with love and quality alone time, whether or not you’re in a relationship. In 2024, I decided that I wanted to set a goal or a New Year’s resolution by going on a solo date once a month. However, I personally found myself struggling with actually letting myself get outside of the comfort of my home as an introvert. The problem wasn’t that I struggled with spending time by myself, but rather that I was too worried about other people’s thoughts. My head became swarmed with worrying if other people would notice that I was spending the day by myself, and I became extremely self-conscious and absolutely despised the idea of being perceived.
When I scrolled on social media and looked at Instagram posts and YouTube vlogs, I saw how other people were able to freely go on solo dates. It seemed like they didn’t care about what others thought of them. I remember wishing that I were able to be as brave and fearless as everyone else. Afterwards, I realized that I was the only one stopping myself from being just as brave. This inspired me to continue trying to go on solo dates, but I decided to take baby steps in my journey to slowly become more comfortable. Some of these baby steps include ordering a new item on the menu at a local store to try something new or even just stepping outside for a walk. If you’re an introvert, a homebody, or just someone who’s looking to get started on their solo date journey, hopefully you can find some inspiration here. These are some of the best solo dates I’ve been on in the past year, which have helped me build more confidence in spending time with myself!
1. My Go-To Solo Date: Coffee Shops and Cafes!
My first successful solo dates always seemed to happen at local coffee shops, cafes, or bakeries. Initially, I envisioned taking myself out for dinner at a hot restaurant spot that I was dying to try. However, when I found myself getting nervous and anxious at a full-blown dinner, I settled on simply visiting some of the coffee shops around my college campus and my hometown! I aimed to try ordering a new drink or going to a different coffee shop in order to switch up my solo dates and get more comfortable with exploring other environments. Changes in location helped keep things fresh, but also allowed me to explore beyond my comfort zone. One time, I even worked up the nerve to have a small conversation with the barista! Most importantly, I let myself enjoy the atmosphere of coffee shops: focusing on the smell of food, the weather outside, as well as observing what other people were ordering. Later, I decided to journal and list some of the delicious drinks I’ve tried, from plain old iced coffee to a warm cup of matcha.
2. cinema date with me, myself, and i
Have you ever really wanted to watch a movie but couldn’t find anyone else who was also interested in watching it with you? Well, here’s your sign to go take yourself out to the movies and watch that film you’ve been dying to see, by yourself. I know some people find it awkward to go to the movies alone, and I was definitely a person in this camp. As I pushed myself to go to the movies, I realized that no one is really judging you because everyone is too busy engrossed in the film to notice if you’re by yourself or not. It also helps that movie theaters are dark, so it’s harder for people to see you anyway. Besides, I found myself invested in the film by the time it started and transported to a brand new world. Now, I actually even prefer to watch movies by myself so I can form my own initial opinion about the film. It’s much more interesting to discuss the movie with someone else later on, and notice how different our thoughts are.
3. solo fun under the sun!
I take advantage of any opportunity I get when the weather’s just warm enough to spend time outside. Although it might seem like a simple activity, taking a walk in your nearby park can be a relaxing solo date where you can just chill under the sun. I’ve always noticed that whenever I spend time in my local park, I become much less stressed because I can get my mind off all my worries. It also made me realize why people are always urging us to get outside and literally touch some grass! Even just the feeling of the sun shining on my skin and breathing in fresh air helps calm my nerves down. Sometimes, I even like to bring a book with me to read while I sit on a park bench or on a blanket in the grass to ease my mind from my daily, hectic life.
While these are just some ideas to help you brainstorm your next (or first) solo date, it’s also important to remember that there are endless options. A solo date can be anything you want, as long as you set the intention of going on one, but it also doesn’t have to be perfect or extravagant. The solo dates I enjoyed the most were the ones where I focused less on trying to have the ultimate date and worrying about others, and instead I shifted my focus to being grateful for the effort I was making. I was proud of myself for just getting my foot out of the door and putting myself out there. If you’re in similar shoes as me, try to push yourself gradually with baby steps, but do whatever is within your comfort zone at first because that’s what ultimately helped me! Eventually, you’ll grow to become a little more courageous, and you’ll find your footing on your solo date journey.