I traveled to New York City a couple weekends ago to visit my partner. I make this trip approximately 2-3 times every month and the routes are familiar to me. However, my experience this time was markedly different as the news of Michelle Go’s death was less than a week old. She was an Asian American woman who was pushed in front of an oncoming train at Times Square and passed away on January 15, 2022, sparking outrage and fear in the Asian community.
As I was waiting for the subway near Chinatown, I noticed many women standing behind the pillars and far away from the edge of the platform. A middle-aged Asian woman in a black puffer jacket and worn UGG boots scolded her daughter in Chinese, warning her to stop wandering off as you never know how dangerous it can be. She pulled her daughter to her side, holding her tightly. People usually loiter near the edge of the platform in anticipation of an optimal seat on the subway. That day, however, people were waiting on the stairs for the train, not daring to get too close. It seemed like business per usual, with an unsaid air of guarded caution. News of Michelle Go seemingly permeated the subway system as people spoke in hushed voices trying not to draw attention to themselves. I found myself acting in a similar fashion, sticking closer to the wall and the stairs, assessing everyone that walked by.
While heading back to New Jersey today, I overheard news of another subway crime while taking the metro. A 62-year-old man was pushed into the subway tracks but was thankfully able to climb up before the next train. People on the subway were visibly shaken since the Michelle Go incident proved to not be a one-time fluke, meaning that no one was particularly safe. The fact that a man was pushed (and not just a woman) seemed to instill even more fear.
On my trip back home, I saw not only women but also men standing further away from the edge of the platform. People stood further apart from each other than usual, looking down at their feet, avoiding eye contact with others. It was as if everyone was trying to minimize their presence and fade into the background. Concealed by masks and scarves, anonymity was both a source of protection and suspicion. The station was quiet, almost solemn.
Only a month later, the tragic murder of Christina Yuna Lee shook the community to its core. She was followed to her apartment in Chinatown NYC and stabbed over 40 times. Her screams pierced through the walls and she was left to die half-naked in the bathroom. The chilling news seeped into people’s minds, a haunting reminder of the ongoing violence against Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders (AAPI). A makeshift memorial for her was made outside of the building, only to be desecrated overnight. Her death hit close to home; she was a Rutgers alumnus, an Asian American, and above all, a young woman. I write in hopes of illuminating the sheer horror and violence people in the AAPI community face today. May Michelle Go and Christina Yuna Lee both rest in peace.