The “talking stage” has become the hallmark of modern dating. It’s that very ambiguous pre-dating phase when two people get to know each other before committing to a relationship. This may sound helpful and practical, but how long is too long to be stuck at this point before a relationship? This has sparked a debate, and now people are wondering if the talking stage fosters a meaningful connection or if it’s erasing the magic of courting someone.Â
The Practical Appeal
On the one hand, in today’s world, where everyone has busy schedules, the talking stage can be helpful as it creates a low-pressure environment and helps people get to know each other better. You can text or call them whenever you want without the pressure you would feel in a relationship. However, romance is more than just being practical. This stage can make it hard to gauge how interested the other person is, as one individual can be emotionally invested, whereas the other could have their options open. The lack of structure or rules can cause one to become exhausted from going through the same process every time they meet someone new and find themselves wondering, “Where is this going?”Â
The Romance of the Past
The talking stage, with its endless texting, casual hangouts, and sporadic meetups, does not match the traditional dating scene—the one our parents went through. Traditional courtship dealt with romance in a much different way. Call me a romantic, but where are the grand gestures, heartfelt expressions of love, and risking yourself to be with the one you desire? The non-committal and casual nature of the talking stage overshadows all of these. Instead of valuing vulnerability and emotional depth, it can encourage superficial connections and even a fear of saying too much too soon.Â
From Talking Stage to Situationship
Now, if you do make it past the talking stage, congratulations! But, you are still not in a relationship because the next step is “the situationship.” A situationship involves the two people having a deeper, often more emotionally involved connection. At this point, it can be hard to decipher what it is, and it can last a long time if left undefined. It means having emotional and sometimes physical involvement but still no commitment. Spending more time with someone can become frustrating as expectations grow. The lack of clarity in the relationship often adds to the annoyance.
The key difference between the talking stage and a situationship is that the talking stage is just two people exploring interests, and the latter has vague or mismatched intentions.Â
Finding Balance
Ultimately, whether the talking stage is killing romance depends on how one approaches it. If two people are committed to fostering a genuine connection and approach this phase with honesty and proper communication, the talking stage can lay down a strong foundation for a meaningful relationship. On the other hand, if it is just a trail of scattered texts and indecision on both parts, it can delay or even derail what could have been an amazing connection. Modern dating is not doing it all wrong; it just needs to look back to the old times and adopt some straightforwardness and intentionality to flourish well.