Whether you’re just beginning summer break or graduating from college for good, you’re probably looking forward to having some free time from school. Leading up to this season, our social media feeds tend to push content about achieving that “summer body” (i.e., a thinner, fitter version of yourself). While exercising more and eating healthier is beneficial, it puts all the focus of self-improvement on physical appearances when we should focus more on developing ourselves mentally, intellectually, and emotionally. During the school year, we’re typically cooped up inside working on our laptops for hours and not getting enough sleep. Taking advantage of time off from school when we’re likely experiencing less stress is an opportune time to build new habits and grow. Thus, here are some tips on how to do just that.
- Put the phone down
I’m sure many of you (including myself) are guilty of being excited to spend time outdoors in the summer, only to spend half your free time doom-scrolling inside. Many of us are addicted to our phones, but it’s time to change that. Hours of scrolling on social media only distract us from learning about ourselves, connecting with others, improving our skills, and working towards our goals. Set time limits on your most-used apps and use that time to focus on yourself.
- Pick up some hobbies
Hobbies not only give you something to do in your free time but also provide you with skills that could someday be useful. For example, one of my friends crochets, and she was able to use her projects as proof of improved manual dexterity for a dental school interview. She also inspired me to start crocheting, which led me to join the executive board of Stitch for Life, a philanthropic crocheting and knitting club here at Rutgers. Crocheting has helped boost our resumés, and its solitary nature allows you to spend quality time with yourself. You should also have a hobby that involves others, like a sport or a game. For the past couple of summers, I have played tennis with my friends for fun, which gets the blood flowing and allows me to tap into my competitive side while spending time with my favorite people.
- Decenter men
Decentering men is much easier said than done. As women raised in a patriarchal society, we’re socialized to center our lives on men, consciously or not. Factoring in the way men perceive us into every decision we make, from the way we dress to the career paths we choose, only hinders us from truly living for ourselves. While it may be impossible to completely decenter men, especially if you’re a straight woman who desires romantic or sexual relationships, it’s important to at least acknowledge the influence of the male gaze on our decision-making as women and question whether we make choices for men or for ourselves. Halle and Sydney of The Color Pink Podcast have an episode that delves deeper into their experiences of decentering men in their lives.
- Write down your goals
At the beginning of the summer, think about the person you want to be. You shouldn’t expect yourself to completely transform within a few months, but setting short-term goals makes achieving your long-term goal less daunting. For example, if you want to be yourself unapologetically, unafraid to speak your mind, a smart first step to take is to take note of the instances in which you passively agree with the crowd rather than voicing your differing opinions. Being conscious of when you silence yourself can help you understand the root of the issue and make you realize that you need to be fairer to yourself. Maybe you surround yourself with the wrong people, or you’re not used to making yourself heard, so you never learned how to. Understanding why you are the way you are will ultimately help you become the person you want to be.
- Develop a relationship with yourself
Developing a relationship with yourself will make you more confident and independent. It’s common to look to other people to feel safe, especially when you feel distressed, insecure, etc. This can range from hanging out with friends or a significant other to seeking male validation. Whatever the case may be, you need to remind yourself that the only person who will always be there for you, no matter what, is yourself. Having a solid support system is vital, but being able to find solace in yourself is invaluable. Elicia Goguen, a YouTuber and the host of The Glow Up Secret Podcast, gives advice on how to develop a relationship with yourself and be your own safe space in this podcast episode.
While I wish I could say I actively practice what I preach in this article, I unfortunately cannot. However, I will actively implement these tips this summer as I transition into post-grad life. I hope at least one of these tips resonates with you, and please take some time to be with yourself today.