For International Women’s Day this year, I thought I’d share my ongoing journey of self-empowerment and what it means to be “empowered” in the context of a society that pressures and restricts young women to impossible standards. My journey to empowerment has had its ups and downs (and still does), but with every day that passes, I rise stronger than ever.
I Study Hard, and I Study Smart
There is nothing that fuels empowerment more than the accumulation of knowledge not solely for the sake of it, but to do my part in helping the world in some way or the other. Whenever I sense a slump in my motivation to study, I remind myself why I am studying in the first place. I am studying to educate the next generation of thinkers, to improve the movement towards sustainability, to aid in groundbreaking technological advances, to bridge the gap between cultures. Above all, I am studying to be a strong-willed, independent woman who flies by her own wings, and who needs no one but herself. It is incredibly empowering to think that my education will mold me into a fine adult woman capable of supporting not only herself, but also lending a helping hand to those around her. After college, I seek to invest my time in volunteering and garnering support for important social causes like poverty and sustainability. To all my sisters out there, I know it may seem difficult to hit the books right now; despite the discomfort, give it your all and trust the process. Remember, they may try to rob you of your rights, but they can never take away your knowledge and the wonders you can do with it.
I Read As Much as I Can
As a voracious reader, reading is the one best friend that has stuck with me from the early days of preschool, through the turbulent times of middle school, and the stressful life of high school and college. Besides the tangible of effects of improved writing prowess and polished communication skills, reading fiction has always been a remarkably eye-opening experience; living vicariously through multifaceted characters and their complex stories has developed my mind to better understand the human experience. As a result, I can relate on a deeper level to the intricate lives around me. Reading is both calming and intellectually stimulating as I can escape reality and rely on the power of my vivid imagination. If you aren’t a reader, I highly recommend starting with children’s fantasy (think The Hunger Games, The Mortal Instruments) and young adult fiction (The Hate U Give, The Perks of Being A Wallflower). Unlike classics and higher level reading, these books are easier to read in terms of language and extremely enjoyable (and enlightening) at the same time. A developed mind with the capability to be empathetic is an empowered mind.
I’ve Learned to Say NO to Societal Expectations and to Be Happy with My Choices
For a significant part of middle school and high school (the dreaded teen years, of course), I had been an angsty adolescent girl. Trapped in the midst of cutthroat social and academic environments, I always felt pressured to look and carry myself a certain way, to take certain classes and get certain grades, to be surrounded by an X number of friends, and to essentially not be an “outcast”. My experience isn’t uncommon considering that as young women, we’re constantly hindered by the unrealistic expectations that society has imposed on us, or rather the ones we’ve created in our own heads. Now I realize that even in my softness, I am more fierce than any of society’s restrictions and threats. I am empowered when I choose to be an unapologetic lioness who is at peace with herself and her choices.
I realize that I am not an outcast, but an outstander; I define my own destiny, create my own path, and walk in a skin of steel with my head up high. To all my women out there, don’t worry if what you like doesn’t fit the cookie-cutter of what should be “liked”- whether it’s a certain major, a cliché movie, or an unconventional hobby. It’s easy to get caught in the web of trying to be “perfect” in the eyes of society, since we believe that society is perpetually watching over our every move. However, author Elizabeth Gilbert preaches in her book, Big Magic (I HIGHLY recommend this book for everyone), that at the end of the day, “nobody was ever thinking about you, anyhow.” In the grand scheme of things, everybody else is busy worrying about themselves rather than you. Do whatever you want to, like whatever you want to like, and embrace it fearlessly without thinking twice about what they will think.
I Move Out of my Comfort Zone for Novel Experiences
For someone who has never had musical ability, starting to learn an instrument at 19 was a significant endeavor. They say that the older you get, the harder it is to learn new skills. I believe this is utter hogwash, and I won’t let it stop me from learning all the wonderful things out there, unexplored and unattempted by me. It doesn’t hinder me that I won’t be playing before an audience any time soon; doing something for praise by the public was never the aim. As my fingers gently strike and shift chords on the uke, sometimes clumsily, sometimes with seamless perfection, I realize this: the objective was always to prove to myself what I could do when I remained open to new experiences. Being adventurous doesn’t always translate to trying crazy, outrageous things. Sometimes, it’s just mustering up the courage to leave your house and socialize with friends and acquaintances to overcome your anxiety and inhibition. Sometimes, it means running an extra mile on the track simply because you can. Get out there and experience the world no matter your age or ability; maybe you’re lousy at first and you don’t know what to say or do, but you will emerge with the satisfaction of having tried to do something for yourself. This in itself is an intensely empowering feeling.
I Try to Stay Positive and Adopt a Growth Mindset
I know that life happens and that not everything can be sunshine and rainbows all the time, but I firmly believe attitude and outlook largely dictate the quality of daily life. In a world fraught with pessimism and incessant complaining, choose to be radically and relentlessly optimistic. Instead of bawling for an hour straight for an unsatisfactory exam grade, think, “I am human and it’s okay to fail. A mere number does not define me. How can I improve for the next time?” Instead of saying, “I am bad at math” say, “I am just not there yet. My abilities are not static, and with extra work and perseverance, I will come out stronger and better at math than before”. Instead of being intimidated by someone more knowledgeable, remind yourself that it isn’t a competition. Remind yourself that there will always be someone smarter than you, but there won’t be anyone who works harder than you, and this is where your power lies. Society, along with your inner demons will always make you feel inferior and incapable; in times like these, you slam the door shut on those noises. You know that you deserve whatever it is that you want. With this knowledge, you empower yourself to dream your boldest dreams and bring them to fruition. A year later you’ll look over your shoulder and see the mountains you’ve climbed that you thought you wouldn’t be able to.
I Remain Grateful for the Little Things
This one goes hand in hand with adopting a positive mindset. Maybe I was rejected from my dream school, from that executive board position, or that coveted summer internship. It’s okay. I don’t stress, I smile anyway and I move on. As trite as it sounds, I find a million little things to be happy about when the greater things don’t work out. I get excited about the first cup of coffee that feeds my sanity each morning or to see my friends after a long week of work and study. Remaining grateful empowers me to get back on track quickly and with a better approach, as opposed to if I were just wallowing unrestrained. If you are upset about something, try to focus on the good, which are usually the little aspects of day-to-day life, to detract from what is bothering you.
I Believe in Supporting Other Women
I love to see women breaking barriers like never before and supporting one another to be the best versions of themselves. A month ago, I attended my first HackHERS hackathon, and the female will-power and energy in that STEM environment was so incredibly awe-inspiring. I felt at home surrounded by smart, talented, and supportive young women. I had no trouble joining a team despite being a complete novice because everyone was so open to collaboration and learning. The idea of, “empowered women empower women” is the no. 1 reason behind my beginning to write for the Rutgers chapter of HerCampus. For the first time in my education, I feel liberated and confident enough to relay my writing to the world all due to the fact that this community is encouraging, nurturing, and always creating environments for women to take up space and thrive.
This International Women’s Day, I hope that you take some time reflect on the power of your work ethic and your unstoppable ambition. I hope you realize the power that resides within you, and I hope you revel in unconditional self-love on the journey to becoming yourself. Rock on lovely ladies, it’s all about the #empowerment.