Valentine’s Day is a great time to appreciate your significant other, if you have one… but it’s also a time to appreciate and love yourself, which means acknowledging the outdated, sexist things people have said to us girls and saying no more. Here are ten things girls are tired of hearing:
1. Are you on your period?
This isn’t just an issue because people assume every girl who’s pissed off is on her period. First of all, no one has the right to ask you whether or not you are. But it also reflects a lack of awareness people, especially guys, have when it comes to periods. A lot of people underestimate how painful being on your period really is for some, and it is usually not a girl overreacting or making excuses.
2. Smile more!
Have you ever walked down the street and had a complete stranger tell you to smile? Girls, I think we can all agree we’re sick of people telling us to always be happy. To always be pleasant and look presentable and be kind at all times. We don’t owe people a smile, and it’s perfectly okay to not always be constantly sunny and demure.
3. You’re pretty… for a ___ girl.
You’re pretty for an Asian girl. You’re pretty for a STEM major. There seems to be this notion that certain types of girls can’t be feminine or attractive. Just because I might like math and science doesn’t mean that I can’t also like to dress up and look nice. Someone who compliments you like this isn’t really complimenting you, but instead putting a part of you down while pretending to raise another part of you up.
4. Why don’t you have a boyfriend?
Society seems to put having a relationship as a priority for girls, not to mention getting married and having kids. If a girl doesn’t have a boyfriend by choice, for some reason it’s a problem. Maybe she doesn’t feel ready for a relationship. Maybe she wants to focus on school or work. Either way, no girl needs a relationship to ever feel whole.
5. I need a strong man to help me lift this.
I remember in school, whenever a heavy box needed lifting, the teacher would always pick boys to help carry it. The same thing happens whenever I’m carrying something or trying to open something. Without even asking, a guy would take whatever was in my hands and assume I wasn’t strong enough to do it myself. Especially as someone who did a varsity sport in high school, it’s insulting and definitely presumptuous.
6. You’re too bossy.
Most of the times, when a girl is called bossy, it’s because a guy isn’t used to her being assertive. Women can be leaders; in fact, we need more women to hold higher ranked positions in all fields, from technology to business to medicine. Just because a guy is uncomfortable with a woman telling her what to do doesn’t mean she should step down from being the boss she is.
This Valentine’s Day, us girls need to realize that a lot of things people say about girls are either discriminatory, insulting or just plain wrong. One way to show self-care and self-love is to say you’re tired of it, and say thank you, next to anyone who says these things to you.