For most of my life, I was to be a hopeless romantic. Personally, I blame my dog-eared romance novels. I grew up on stories dashing men and women would sweep their heroine off their feet. They were kind, funny and…perfect. I spent ages looking for my dream person and…suddenly stopped. In fact, I’m not dating anymore. For awhile. I know that your twenties are supposed to be the time to experiment with dating but, I think the best experiment (for me at least) is to stop cold turkey. Here’s why.
- I don’t know what I want in life.
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I, like most people my age, am unsure of what comes next in life. There’s a stigma around being single but I feel like the relationship status allows me to grow in different areas. Relationships take time and energy. And honestly? I don’t want to spend time on people who aren’t already a crucial part of my life.
- I keep falling for the wrong person.
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Yeah…I’ve kissed a few frogs. Although fairytales tell me that some frogs can turn into a prince I refuse to wait. I’m looking for someone who can be a good person on their own. Until I can learn how to put that energy into the world I don’t need to date.
- I don’t love myself.
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It’s cliche but I need to learn how to love myself before I love another person. I’m willing to build my relationship with myself and until then I refuse to build a relationship with another person.
- I don’t understand what my boundaries are.
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Recently I’ve been wondering if my happily ever after includes marriage. I’ve always been the type of person who doesn’t date casually so it’s important for me to understand what my purpose in dating is.
- I’m attempting to strengthen my relationship with other people.
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For the first time in my life, I’m actively trying to maintain healthy relationships. It’s really hard to understand what my boundaries are. It’ll be even harder to assert them with another person–a practical stranger.
- I refuse to settle.
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I think that there’s this pressure of being in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. This includes me. I don’t want to settle anymore.
- I’m terrified of being alone…
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…Which is exactly why I need to be alone. I deserve to not need anybody but myself.