I’ve recently started rewatching Sex and the City, and although I feel like Miranda most days, I wanted to have a Carrie Bradshaw moment and talk about the politics of dating.
I grew up in Baltimore, Maryland, which is a pretty liberal area. Maryland as a whole is a blue state, so coming to Glassboro in South Jersey was a political culture shock for me. New Jersey is a generally blue state, so it never really occurred to me to look into how Gloucester County swung, but after some research, it shows that it usually swings red.
My ideal relationship
News flash: my dating life is bleak, but it is (mostly) by choice, and, like other people, my list of Mr. Right goes beyond the superficial. Regardless of party affiliation, the main thing on my list: NO TRUMP SUPPORTERS. Which I know sounds extreme, but let me explain.
I don’t casually date, so when I look for someone, their values and morals must align with mine wholeheartedly, which is why I don’t believe that politics and dating can be separated from each other.
People always question me on this, “Is it really that deep?” but it is. The backbone of my political beliefs is my moral values. I didn’t recite “With Liberty and Justice for All” for nothing.
In my eyes, that means loving everyone universally. As I have grown and learned more about policy and how politics affect disenfranchised groups, my beliefs have gotten more specific, but the fundamentals are still there.
For example, if you tell me that you don’t support LGBTQIA+ rights, that’s a problem for me and shows me that our values are different and we don’t align.
I’ve run this point into the ground, but your vote says just as much.
If you voted for someone who has publicly scrutinized marginalized groups, it shows me clearly that bigotry is not a “big deal” to you.
Is no Politics better?
The A-Political type is not for me either. When someone tells me they don’t “Do politics,” I always question what that could possibly mean? Every single thing is political, and I wish I could shout that from every single rooftop across America.
Sure, it’s somebody’s choice to not be involved, but what I hear is that you choose to ignore the problems in our Country. I’m not asking anyone to be a public policy master (I by no means am one), but having a basic knowledge of civics and daily news is non-negotiable.
What do you think?
Much like the famous phrase, “You are what you eat,” it’s pretty much the same as “You are who you surround yourself with.” So in that vein, I only want to be with someone who has the same fundamental values as me, and with how inequitable this administration has been, it is never something I could align myself with.
It is end all be all.
This is by no means meant to make me sound morally superior. I know the dating scene is complicated enough, and what is important to everyone is uniquely different, but I do want to give people a new framework for looking at dating. I’m curious to hear what others think!