In high school, I was everywhere, and I mean everywhere. I was a three-sport varsity athlete for all four years, captain of each team by junior year, and held multiple e-board positions in clubs. My days started early with tutoring or club meetings before school and ended late after practice, sometimes followed by another practice. I was proud of everything I was accomplishing, but underneath that pride was constant stress and anxiety.
People often praised me for being “so involved” and “such a leader,” but my mom was the only one who would quietly remind me that I didn’t have to do it all. I didn’t listen for a while until April of my senior year, when I finally hit a breaking point. I was utterly burnt out, physically and emotionally drained from trying to keep up with everything. That was when I realized something had to change.
When I got to college, I promised myself I would still be involved, but differently. I had initially planned to play collegiate soccer, but after everything I went through during my senior year, I decided to step back. Instead, I chose to get involved in ways that actually made me happy. I joined Alpha Sigma Tau, a sorority, and found an incredible sense of belonging and friendship. I tried club lacrosse and eventually served as treasurer, then director of academic success, VPO, and now president of Alpha Sigma Tau. The difference this time? I was doing it because I wanted to, not because I felt I had to. I was finally able to be proud of my goals I reached, rather than relive them when I finally reached them.
My first year was a turning point. For the first time in a long time, I felt genuinely happy, not because I was overachieving, but because I was finally prioritizing myself. I learned that saying no doesn’t make you lazy or unmotivated; it just means you’re listening to what you need.
Now, my life feels balanced. I pick and choose my activities based on what brings me joy. I make time for school, my friends, and my health. I do hot HIIT classes four times a week, go on walks, and get my work done early so I can actually enjoy my free time.
If I could talk to my high school self, I’d tell her: It’s okay to say no. You don’t have to be the best at everything or involved in every club to be successful. Being busy doesn’t make you worthy of being happy; being happy does.
My version of success now isn’t about how much I can handle; it’s about how much peace I can create for myself. If you’re still stuck in that “do it all” mindset, I hope you remember: you only live once. Fill your life with things that genuinely make you happy.