It’s cuffing season ladies and gentleman. One second it’s hot girl summer and you’re living the single life of your dreams. Then all of the sudden everyone has abandoned single’s summer to fall in love. I’m a bit of a rebel when it comes to dating. I say that I’m not in a relationship because I’m focused on school. It’s a lie and I’ll admit it but it’s better than admitting I have no game. As my friend starts cuffing up I realize that I’m getting a little lonely. The best way to find an s/o is through Tinder. It’s the fastest (and laziest) way to get into a relationship. But, after a few years of swiping, dating and deleting matches I realize that Tinder works in a repeating cycles.
- You Set up a Profile
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You pick your best pictures. One body shot, one selfie and one with friends to prove you do have friends. You carefully write your bio and try to attract the perfect significant other. You try to sound witty, but not to witty. Classy but not a snob. Attractive but not slutty. With every click of your keyboard you’re creating the best version of yourself.
- You are amazed with all the matches you get
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Am I attractive? you think as you see your matches and likes. Suddenly you walk a bit taller and spend a little bit more time in a mirror. I’m wanted you think,I’m a catch. As you continue to swipe you start to become a little bit more selective.
- You realize that you’re a flirt
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As you type you are amazed at your grown confidence. You find yourself blushing as you type messages into your phone. You realize that you wanted this type of attention for awhile. You start to fly to your phone whenever you get new matches.
- You get hooked on the idea of someone
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You’re in love. Well not love. You’re in love with the idea of someone. You imagine meeting them, falling slowly in love and spending a long, happy life together. It’s a little bit over dramatic but a girl can dream right?
- You go on a few dates
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This is it! You’re finally going to meet people. You put on your cutest outfit and do your makeup for what seems like hours. As you start off the date you realize that you have butterflies. This is it! you think to yourself…
- You #thank you next a few creeps
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…You realize that this person isn’t who you thought they were. You’re flexible but your “perfect match” crossed the line and left you with a thousand red flags that can’t go unignored. As you go home you realize that you have to block your “perfect match” as soon as possible. By the time you are on another date your bad date is already a distant memory.
- You delete the app
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It’s strange to think but the point of Tinder is to delete the app one day. Maybe you found true love. Maybe you found your dream hook-up. For me, I realize that I’m not going to find anything special on Tinder.
I know that it’s stupid to try to look for something real on an app. But it feels good to know that I’m looking for love instead of waiting around for it. But as I go through the stages I know in my heart I won’t find love on an app. This will suit me just fine until I inevitably get lonely and tinder finds its way on my phone again.