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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Rowan chapter.

We all can be guilty of letting toxic people into our lives and letting them stay for entirely too long. Whether it’s friends, lovers, strangers, classmates, acquaintances; we’ve all encountered someone who walks into your life, and somehow it just never works out. Not to say that this person is necessarily toxic, but when you come together, whatever you have is not healthy. They’re toxic to you. You say you’ve let them go, and then a week later they’re back in your life. You may want to stay, but you know it’s best if you don’t. These types of negative relationships literally destroy us, and we tend to lose touch with our true selves- it’s sad. Even some of the strongest people have toxic relationships that crush them into a small shell of who they once were. It might take a really long time to realize all of this, but once you do, it will be better off for every party.

Anyways, if you’re taking the step to purge this person out of your life, I commend you. It’s not an easy thing to do, but it will be okay. Hopefully, my personal guide to enlightenment will help you out in letting this person go- forever this time. It will most definitely hurt, but it’s going to be worth it in the end.

  1. You can’t do bad bitch things with these people around. Drop them. Seriously, you can’t blossom and bloom into if someone won’t water you or you can’t even water yourself. Don’t let someone dry you up and shrivel you.
  2. If they’re using, they’re abusing. Real friends don’t use each other in any regard.
  3. Realize it’s okay to let go, you’re not going to die of heartbreak even though it might seem like the end. No matter how bad you feel, you’re always going to come out on the other side.
  4. Focus on your healthy relationships, you’ll realize how much these people belong in your life, as compared to the latter.
  5. Don’t wait for an apology. You might get one, you might not. But, you did this to better the most important person in your life- yourself.
  6. Allow yourself to be sad. Being sad because you lost someone, most commonly someone we think is our other half, is so so hard. Let yourself feel.
  7. Don’t feel guilty- you’re doing this for the best of the both of you. The other person will move on and either realize who they lost and grow from it, and you will free yourself.
  8. Maintain a healthy distance from this person’s social media accounts- if you have to block, unfollow, or restrict them; DO IT.
  9. Realize that love and loyalty don’t always combine, and that’s okay.
  10. Take self-care days. If you need a break, don’t be afraid to take one. Whether it be a cutesy spa day or the days where you just need a good cry; take them.

Remember, life is already stressful enough. You don’t need other people around you that add to it. You weren’t meant to sit here and deal with other people’s bullshit, you have your own. Last but certainly not least, you need to focus on whatever is going to better your life and you as a person and if that means living life without this person, so be it. Retain the good and purge the bad.

Destiny is currently enrolled in Columbia University's MFA Writing program. She is a national writer at Her Campus and the former editor-in-chief of Her Campus Rowan. She likes thrifting, romance novels, cooking shows, and can often be found binging documentaries.