When people hear that I’ve been with my high school sweetheart for four years, they’re usually surprised, not because long-term relationships are rare, but because they’re hard to maintain in college. Between classes, exams, sorority events, jobs, and everything else college throws at you, relationships can easily get lost in the chaos.
But somehow, we’ve made it work. We’ve watched each other grow from teenagers into independent adults, balancing our own goals while still being each other’s biggest supporters.
I met my boyfriend when we were 16 and still figuring out who we wanted to be. Now, as college students with jobs, social lives, and responsibilities, we’ve both grown into versions of ourselves that we’re proud of.
I juggle a job, sorority life, school, and friendships. He does the same with his own social life, career, and responsibilities. We’re busy, and honestly, that’s what keeps us balanced. Our relationship has never been about being together 24/7; it’s about cheering each other on as we both chase what we love.
Watching each other grow individually has been one of the most rewarding parts. We’ve learned that love doesn’t mean being inseparable; it means supporting each other’s independence. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that for a relationship to work in college, you both need to have your own lives.
Your world can’t revolve around your boyfriend, no matter how much you love him. You need your own goals, hobbies, and friends. Go out with your girls, join a club, take that class just because it interests you. When you pour into your own life, you bring more to the relationship.
Independence doesn’t mean you love each other any les, it actually means you’re mature enough to recognize that love can’t be your entire identity. You don’t need to spend every minute together; you have the rest of your life for that if marriage is in your future. Right now, it’s about growing as individuals and as partners.
Being together for four years has also taught me that communication is everything. When you’re both busy and building your own lives, being honest about what you need, whether that’s time, space, or support, keeps things healthy. Speaking up doesn’t make you needy; it makes you strong.
At the end of the day, being in a long-term relationship in college didn’t stop me from finding myself; it helped me understand what self-love truly means. I’ve learned that love and independence aren’t opposites; they go hand in hand.
We’ve grown up together, but we’ve also grown into ourselves. And that balance, being two whole people who choose each other, is what makes our relationship work.