When I was a kid my fingers were always a sore topic for me. I was absolutely horrible to them. I would bite them, pick at the skin, and more recently scratch at them. I had no clue why other than the fact that I was always nervous and desperate for an outlet. Needless to say, my fingers looked like they belonged to a witch instead of a little girl.
I didn’t like holding people’s hands or anyone to see my fingers. To this day (despite the fact that my hands look a million times better) I still have the habit of making sure that my hands aren’t in someone’s line of vision.
Going to the nail salon was a game-changer for me. At first, it made me nervous because I was sure that the nail technician thought that I was disgusting. But, the woman was more than nice and my nails looked spectacular after. For the first time in my life, I felt like one of my ugliest features looked beautiful.
The compliments on my nails were the best part. I know that it sounds really egotistical but it was amazing. Once upon a time, I was embarrassed to lie my hand on a table. Now strangers were complimenting the color of my nail polish or asking to look at my nails. To say that this was a confidence booster would be an understatement. I was on cloud nine.
When the pandemic hit and nail salons were closed I literally cried because I had to take off my nails. As silly (and as tone-deaf) as it was I felt like my acrylics were apart of my identity. I didn’t want to lose them. I got into painting my nails again though and even though it wasn’t the same I still retained the confidence of going to the salon.
I don’t care if it’s high maintenance. Painting my nails or going to the salon isn’t self-care to me anymore. It’s self-maintenance. Having cute nails is important to my self-esteem and is nonnegotiable. And I absolutely love it.