When I first began my studies at college, I envisioned the layout of my college experience being fairly simple. I was going to find a good major, attend classes, meet lots of new people, and most importantly, graduate. What I did not expect was how much growing up I was going to do in each of these places- all of those late-night conversations, different paths I envisioned for myself, and questioning my choices every day. After looking back on the past year and a half I have spent at college, here are five lessons I’ve learned through my experience.
1. Asking for help is a strength, Not a weakness
During freshman year, I thought everything I struggled with had to be dealt with on my own. After all, I am an adult now, right? But growing up and being at college does not make your struggles any less important. Whether it be academically, mentally, or life challenges on their own, there is always a support system for you to confide in. These systems are created to assist, not to make you feel weak. Friends, professors, advisors, and on-campus resources will always be beyond willing to help you. Learning to ask for help has allowed me to become a more of a resourceful and resilient person, while remaining independent.
2. The process of getting on track after failure is how you move forward
My first year of school showed me that I don’t fear failure anymore. I have faced major disappointments, missed events, received a low grade or two, and faced rejection. At the time, it was hard for me to see these failures objectively because I took them very personally.
Each failure I faced, I began to take as a lesson learned. After reflecting and growing upon these events, I finally understood the true meaning of kindness and compassion towards myself. I started to see that failure is simply a part of education, not a measure of who I am as a person. An important message I have implemented in my mind is that you are not defined by your failures or mistakes; you are how you choose to respond to them.
3. Following your heart isn’t reckless- its necessary
I was fresh out of high school, spending my time weighing all of my choices against other people’s, trying to figure out what was best for myself. In the middle of all the chaos I had dealt with, my mom constantly reminded me to follow my heart- a saying that I initially dismissed as overly sentimental. As time passed, I concluded that listening to my heart does not equal making those decisions out of affection for my heart; instead, I was simply making choices that I believed were right for me and would inspire me to be a better version of myself.
The best decisions always come from trusting your inner self. When you don’t, however, it does not produce a 100% turn for yourself. My drive, along with my motivation in the past, stemmed from what I thought would be accepted by others. In the past couple of semesters I have had here at college, I began to realize that if I follow the inclinations of my own heart, I would achieve what I desired all along, regardless of the outcome.
4. The phase of drifting away from someone is okay
After beginning my college experience, I can see that I have grown in every aspect of my life and in many different types of relationships. I have learned so much about who I am and my interests, my priorities, and goals; I have changed the way I see myself and others around me. However, through all these positives, I still felt like I was doing one of the most important things wrong: keeping a stable friendship. Throughout high school, this person was someone whom I looked at more as a sister, rather than a best friend. I put so much negative thoughts into my mind when I felt like I was the one unable to maintain that close relationship.
As I continue to mature each day, I now see that when you outgrow a close friendship during college, you have not failed, not even close! This experience is a natural progression of your growth, and realizing that maybe not all friendships are going to last forever. It’s a hard pill to swallow, trust me, I know, but when you look at how much you have grown through it, the outcome will be worth it. The result shows that you have greatly matured as an individual and are now looking to explore new opportunities and different paths away from that friend.
5. You don’t have to have everything figured out right away
One of the greatest takeaways from my time in college so far is that everyone has their fair share of uncertainty. I entered school thinking that I had to be absolute in my identity and have a plan for my future career so that I could leave as an expert. However, after much reflection, I have determined that I am gaining insight into how to ask better questions to better shape myself, rather than knowing every answer in my life. The journey that my education provided me with has given me many opportunities to learn through experience as my life continues to evolve and change. With that being said, I am in a constant state of growth from the many things I learn every day.
Lastly, I have learned that growth is not about having it all figured out; instead, it is about being engaged in the present moment, being open to new ideas and experiences, and trusting yourself in the process. My key advice to you if you’re struggling freshman year or anytime in college, for that matter: if you don’t like something, change it. You know what’s best for you, and once you implement change, if you ask for help, make a new friend, whatever it may be, the best version of you is yet to come.