Feminism is Teaching Me Self Love

One thing that I’ve always been insecure about is my body type. For some reason, I always had weird insecurities about the way I looked. I felt like everything was a little too big or too small for me.

Destiny’s List of Insecurities <3

  • My bust was (and is) huge. It made me uncomfortable to have such a big chest. I remember wishing that I could just take them off because so many people would point out my chest size. 
  • My stomach has been a recent issue for me. I see girls with my body type and I wonder, “Why doesn’t my stomach look flat like theirs? I’ve got the same bust size. Our butts look the same. Why is my stomach bigger?". 
  • My face is round. Actually, it’s more of an oval now. But I wonder why the universe didn’t give me cheekbones.
  • My curly hair isn’t voluminous enough. Why can’t I have big bouncy curls?

And so on. I look at myself in the mirror and nine times out of ten I’m thinking about one of these insecurities that I have. I remember one time while saying no to pizza because “My stomach doesn’t need to get any bigger.” a friend asked me why I thought that way. Without thinking I said, “I’m can’t be pretty if I’m fat.”.

“So all fat people are ugly?”. Immediately disagreed thinking about the plus-sized women who are absolutely drop-dead gorgeous. “So why do you think that you can’t be fat and pretty?”

She got me there.

The moment only lasted for about five seconds but it really changed the way I thought about myself. I really believe that everyone is beautiful in their own way. People hate to hear it but it’s true. Everyone is beautiful in their own way despite the fact that beauty standards tell you otherwise. I try my hardest to pass on this message. To tell people that I like their unconventional features if I adore them. And yet I struggle to tell myself these same things. Why?

I realize that as a feminist I refuse to put down a woman because of the way they look. And in belittling myself I’m disrespecting the values of feminism. No woman should be judged by the way they look. And that includes me. Lately, I’ve been trying to treat myself like I'm another person. I try to find the beauty in my round face and my flat hair. There have been times where I complemented other people’s features that resembled mine. 

We’re all victims of the beauty standards that are prevalent within society. But the way to regain control and to promote real, authentic beauty is to be kind. Not only to other women but to ourselves as well.