“What do you think you’re gonna do, kill me?”
We stand on the old bridge downtown, snow pelting us like our fists in each other’s guts. I step back for a second, away from the railing, and glare at Olivia Cadence Dickson. Her unkempt hair and narrowed eyes mirror mine, a reminder of who I am now. Like a rabid dog, she pounces at me, sinking her claws into my skin.
I scream, but no one can hear me in this whiteout. Everything around us is pure, but I just can’t see it. It’s like we’re the only creatures in this world, Olivia and me, while everything else fades into blurred figures. It all betrays me as I feel myself shrinking into the slippery pavement. My legs are weak and my head dizzy, but I don’t give in. I swing my arms like a boxer, though it seems to do nothing but tire me.
“Leave me alone!” I shriek.
Rising from the ground, I lunge toward Olivia Cadence Dickson, but she dodges me, nearly sending me over the edge. The cold barrier slams into my gut, and I fight the urge to puke, gasping for air.
“You’re gonna be sick, aren’t you?” Olivia says.
No, no, no.
1, 2, 3.
Tap, tap, tap.
Cadence smiles.
The stillness around our chaos is so taunting that I can’t bear it. I kick the snow, curse the clouds, grab the icicles from the handrail and hurl them without aiming.
Olivia looks at me and smirks. “You could’ve hurt someone with those. Is that what you want? Are you trying to hurt someone?”
No, no, no.
1, 2, 3.
Was I? Was I? Was I?
Cadence nods.
She charges me, and I rip her by the shirt, swing her around and back her up against the ledge as she grins at me. My sudden strength seems to stun her, but she’s still fearless while she loses her balance over the railing.
Olivia Cadence Dickson sighs. “You really are crazy.”
1, 2 – not anymore.
I let her go.
I watch her fall, break the ice, disappear under the surface and into the water. I watch her drown the way I do every time she speaks.
What have I done?
Look what I’ve done.
“Look what you’ve done.” I stare at Dr. Glen as she smiles. “Welcome to remission.”