Advice: Rejections as a Dancer

As a dancer, I’m no stranger to rejection. It’s basically a part of the art. You walk into auditions knowing that there are a number of talented dancers competing for a handful of spots. You can prepare for weeks, feel confident, give everything you have, and receive a no.

And honestly, sometimes that “no” is completely appropriate.

I learned that firsthand when I auditioned for the Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders my freshman year of college.

Ultimately I got cut. And while it wasn’t easy , I understood why. Looking back, I genuinely wasn’t good enough for that team at that point in my life. The dancers that made it were more experienced and better dancers than me. 

That rejection didn’t destroy my confidence because I knew it was fair to cut me.

It was a reminder that I had more work to do.

But not every rejection has felt that way.

In my sophomore year of college, I auditioned for a dance company at my school. By that point, I had already been there for a year. I knew the style of the dancers. I knew the level of the company. I knew what was expected.

And, if I’m being completely honest, I knew I deserved a spot.

I didn’t audition thinking I was entitled to anything. I understood that there were other talented dancers and that ultimately, someone had to make the final decisions.

But when I was cut, it didn’t feel like the Eagles audition.

This time, I didn’t walk away thinking, I need to get better.

I walked away thinking, I don’t understand.

I’ll never know exactly why I wasn’t chosen. I can make assumptions, but I wasn’t in the room when the decisions were made. What I do know is that the company was student-run, many of the dancers were dance majors, and a lot of them already knew each other.

Maybe that had nothing to do with my rejection. Maybe it did. Either way, the experience taught me something important; not every rejection is a reflection of your ability. Sometimes, there are factors at play that have absolutely nothing to do with how talented, hardworking, or deserving you are.

This can be really hard to accept. As dancers, we’re taught to constantly evaluate ourselves. If we don’t get the role, we ask what we did wrong. If we don’t make the team, we assume someone else was better. If we’re passed over, we immediately critique ourselves. 

Evaluating yourself and your dancing can be useful when the answer really is that you need to improve. Rejection can be one of the best motivators. It can show you where your weaknesses are and push you to become a stronger dancer.

But there’s a danger in assuming that every rejection means there is something wrong with you. Because sometimes there isn’t. Sometimes there is nothing you can do.

The truth is, auditions are subjective. Casting is subjective. Companies have different visions, different preferences, different dynamics, and different needs. Sometimes they are looking for a specific look, energy, personality, skill set, or even just someone who fits into the existing group.

And sometimes, you can check every box and still not get the spot. That doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough; it means you weren’t chosen.

What I’ve learned is there will be rejection that challenges you to grow, and there will be rejection that simply hurts. There will be times when you look back and realize, They were right. I wasn’t ready. And there will be other times when you have to look at yourself and say, I was ready. They just didn’t choose me. Both of these can be true in different scenarios.

The goal isn’t to convince yourself that every rejection was unfair. That can keep you from growing. The goal is to develop enough self-awareness to know the difference.

You should take the feedback when there is something to learn, work harder when you need to, improve your technique, and become a better performer. But also don’t let someone else’s decision become the definition of your worth.

One audition can tell you whether you got a spot. It cannot tell you how talented you are. It cannot tell you how far you’ll go. And it certainly cannot tell you whether you belong in the dance world. Sometimes rejection is a sign that you need to keep working. And sometimes, it’s simply a sign that you need to keep going.