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10 Things Single Girls and Girls in a Problematic Relationship Should Remember

  1. Be yourself. I know this a little cliché, but it is probably the most important tip I can give! Maybe you don’t have your “dream man”. Your dream man is the guy who will appreciate you for being you. If he can’t appreciate that, he’s probably not worth it.
  2. If you have to try to get him to notice your existence, he’s probably not worth it. I’m not trying to discourage anyone from talking to their crush, but more likely than not, the right guy is probably the guy who already knows you exist, and you don’t have to try for his attention. If you can actually talk to your crush and he starts to notice your existence, then he might be the right guy, but if he doesn’t, don’t dwell on it, seriously.
  3. Don’t settle for someone who would try to change you.  This one ties into the first one a little bit. I’ve seen this one before. Girls try to be into things they’re just not interested in, and be someone they’re not just because their crush or boyfriend is into it. Those guys make you feel like if you’re not into that stuff, it’s a deal-breaker. The real deal-breaker is this guy won’t take you just because you’re not interested in the exact same things they are. You’re not his clone!
  4. Don’t let a guy keep you away from your friends and family. Why would this mean this is a problematic relationship if you’re so happy with him? If you truly want to be happy, you need other people in your life besides him. You may love him, but it’s because of him that you’re not paying attention to your friends and family. If he’s controlling your life, the relationship is indeed problematic.
  5. Don’t dwell on the people not in your life, and count your blessings for the people who are. Sure, you don’t have a boyfriend or you just broke up with him, but you have so many amazing people in your life, like your friends and family I mentioned in my last point. These people love you and care about you. Why do you need a boyfriend to care about you when you have them? They provide you with just as much laughter, love, and memories as a boyfriend can. The only difference is that they ARE there and probably more consistent.
  6. Don’t hold onto something that just doesn’t work. Whether it is a crush or a relationship, there might come that point where you know it’s over and there’s no use in trying. I always encourage people to have hope, but in this situation, if you have hope for something that just doesn’t work, holding on will only hurt more. If he’s starting to show signs that he doesn’t care anymore, you shouldn’t care either.
  7. Don’t feel obligated to date someone. This is a little bit of a weird tip, but feeling obligated to someone is more common than one would think. Just because someone wants to date you and says all the right things, it doesn’t mean you like them. If you don’t really like them, then don’t be afraid to put them in the friend-zone. Let them know that you like them, but you don’t think it’ll work out. Hopefully he’ll understand, but don’t date someone you think is “just a friend”.
  8. Physical Attraction Isn’t Everything. It’s always nice to look at hot guys, but just because they’re hot doesn’t mean they’re right. A lot of girls say they like a guy because they’re hot. No, you don’t like him. You’re infatuated with him. There’s a HUGE difference! Liking someone is when you get to know the person and they’re personal character traits and become attracted to that. It’s not just liking the way they look. Seriously, there’s no such thing as love a first sight.
  9. Don’t date someone because you were lonely, bored, or trying to move on. The only reason you should ever date someone is because you genuinely like that person and they genuinely like you too. Dating someone for any other reason hurts you and the other person. Dating the wrong person only makes you lonelier and dating someone you have no feelings for is also boring. Also, if you want to move on, you need to live YOUR life without that person, and maybe someone better will come along the way. You can’t move on by just rushing into a relationship.
  10. As I said before, live YOUR life. Seriously, you have goals, ambitions, and things you want to do with your life. Your life doesn’t necessarily revolve around love. Carry out your day like you would with any other day, and do the things you want to do. One day you will find the guy who changes your life and can be a part of it, but for now, it’s about YOU.
Hi I'm Stephanie DiVito. I am 21 years old and I am originally from Pennsauken, NJ. I am now living at Rowan in the Triad Apartments. I am a Secondary Education major in English, and I love to write! I am a person with a lot of ideas and I can't wait to put them out there!
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