Hello my lovelies! Damn I love spring break! Every day spent lying on the beach, soaking up almost as much booze as sunshine, and hooking up with strange exotic men, but sadly, all good things have to come to an end (except for Robert Pattison’s abs… woof!) Yes, the bad news is spring break is officially over, but we all took like 3,000 pictures so we can relive it anytime we want to (especially the ones of you dancing on stage for that contest… with the super soakers… can you say facebook!?). But here are some things to remember in order to survive life after paradise.
Thing 1: Don’t be depressed! Yes, Rochester kinda sucks. There is no beach, no sun, no daiquiris, and no Javier (oh, Javier…) but it’s only going to get better! Winter is almost over! And then we can sing and dance on the quad for days in the beautiful sunshine (notice I said days and not weeks, because that’s literally all that we’re gonna have). But, those few days are going to be fabulous!
Thing 2: Tanning! Ugh, this always happens. We lie out on the beach for 7 straight days, get more bronzed than the Statue of Liberty, but then have to come back to the arctic of Rochester and lose all of our sexy color. But, lucky for us, we live in the great state of New York, (home to multiple Jersey Shore stars) where tanning is the unofficial state pastime. So if you don’t mind the minor cancerous side effects stop into one of the hundreds of tanning salons in Rochester and let it burn baby!
Thing 3: Keeping that beach bod! Girls, we worked long and hard for our spring break bodies and let’s just say that all-inclusive ice cream and cookies may have gotten the best of us this past week. (They go straight to my thighs. Damn you mother! Ugh, I’ve got her legs…). But we don’t have time to hide in our sweatshirts for another 3 months like we normally do, so hit that gym hard girls! It’ll be a bit rough getting back into it, but when it’s time to bring out the mini skirts, your hard work will pay off.
Thing 4: BOYS!! As you have probably learned the hard way, what happens in Cancun does NOT always stay in Cancun, so here’s some advice for dealing with post spring break hook ups. First thing’s first, Craig is probably not going to call you. I know, I know. I’ve been there too sweetie. But he goes to Miami and he lied to you. He is still with his girlfriend and she’s actually pregnant, but it’s ok. There’s gotta be a couple guys here at Rochester that… what am I saying, no there won’t be, but you can always go to Europe over the summer and find a new Craig. What doesn’t give us a baby makes us stronger. But for you sexy ladies that hooked up with a U of R guy down in Jamaica, remember that he probably doesn’t even remember you. I mean it was karaoke night and things got a little out of hand, but just keep it cool and everything will be alright. Just remember that mini-skirt season is fast approaching, so if you diligently follow “thing 3” there will be no problem, mon! (I’m still in Jamaica mode, I know!)
So that about sums it up ladies. Just relax and before you know it, it’ll be springtime and the day drinking can start again. (Oh, and happy belated St. Patty’s Day! I actually do have a little Irish in me, but don’t tell him that, he’ll get self-conscious… Oh I am bad!).