1. parsimony (n): extreme unwillingness to spend money or use resources
At a certain point in college, you lose the will to do anything that isn’t free or almost free. That includes eating. And buying toilet paper. This is called parsimony.
2. obfuscate (v): render obscure, unclear, or unintelligible
“I thought I understood what was going on until my professor obfuscated everything. Now I’m totally lost.”
3. gadarene (adj): involving or engaged in a headlong or potentially disastrous rush to do something
When you find out your paper is due in an hour and you haven’t even picked a topic…get ready for a gadarene rush to get that s**t done.
4. paroxysm (n): a sudden attack or violent expression of a particular emotion or activity
College is just an emotional time. Maybe you go into paroxysms of joy when you finally land that competitive internship, or paroxysms of laughter when you’re drunk, or a paroxysm of rage when your roommate uses your expensive shampoo to wash her dog.
5. polysemous (adj): having multiple meanings
If your professor tells you your answer didn’t make any sense, hit him with this one: “I’m not wrong, your question was just very polysemous.” A+ or nah?
We wish Ryan could be our professor, sigh.
6. enology (n): the study of wines
Do I even need to explain why this word is important?
7. limerence (n): the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one’s feelings
This word comes in handy when you’re trying to validate the slightly crazy feelings you have when your crush doesn’t text back after five minutes and you’re considering driving by their place or hacking into their Facebook account. “I’m not crazy, I’m suffering from limerence.”
8. succor (n): assistance and support in times of hardship and distress
Succor is what friends are for!
9. pedant (n): a person who is excessively concerned with minor details and rules or with displaying academic learning
You know that person who raises his hand in class like every five seconds and you just want to be like shut up?! Pedant.
10. idyllic (adj): excellent and delightful
Idyllic means so perfect it’s almost magical. This describes nothing about college. JK, spring break!