TRIGGER WARNING: Body image and eating disorders
After working my first retail job, I told myself I would never go back.
Fast forward, three years later, I am back in retail.
Recently, I walked away from the job I was at for two and half years. I deeply cared about and loved this job, but it started to become a place I no longer felt good about. As I was considered leaving, a new job working at one of my favorites stores fell into my lap. It was impossible to say no. I have absolutely no regrets about taking the job, and it is a healthier working environment. But it is hard sometimes to ignore the toxic echo that retail leaves.
A double life
To work in retail, depending on the store, you have to have that look. The image that the store wants you to have, reflects on your customer interactions. You are pretty much an embodiment of the store as a human. Sometimes this is a good thing, sometimes it is a harmful thing because it could discourage you to be who you are.
It lowkey is kinda like living a Hannah Montana life. You are creating two versions of yourself, the one that is appropriate for work and the audience or customers, and the true version of yourself when you leave work. For me, it is actually exciting and I am having fun within, but I cannot ignore how I see that it negatively affects other people. But it also depends on what store you are working at, where I am, I have been able to express myself creatively and freely.
Body image
Where the toxic side of retail really affects me negatively is the body image struggles. This mainly comes from customers I interact with. Because I am built with a tinier thinner frame, I am constantly getting remarks about how I am “skinny”. The response I am expected to give back is a positive thankful one, as if being called skinny is a compliment. As someone who has and still struggles with my body and eating, these comments tend to be triggering. A recent customer referred to me as an “animated” character because I was so thin. Multiple times a shift I hear how people cannot wear the clothes I wear because I am tiny and when I suggest a clothing item the response is “I’m not tiny like you” in an irritated tone. The sad part is when people say they wish they had my body not aware of my body struggles and how tiring it is to have this body that does not even feel like my own.
Objectification
A lot of these toxic and harmful behaviors come from people’s diction. “Skinny’ and “Tiny” are harmful analogies, and instead of emphasizing the conversation on someone’s body, just saying comments like “You look beautiful”, and “that piece of clothing looks nice on you”. Those harmful comments are objectifying people, making retail employees feel as if they are just dolls of the company.