March 14th 2020, we were told that spring break was just going to be an extra week, that we all needed was two weeks then we would be back to “normal” (whatever your idea of normal was). After two weeks, we were given another two weeks… And then another two weeks. It feels like those “two weeks” have lasted an entire lifetime. We just need to make it through these two weeks.
The world we have been living in has never stopped, we are constantly going and progressing: fast food restaurants open 24/7, people working multiple jobs at once, cities never sleeping. The world went into pause. Cars that once drove past my house all hours of the day gradually lessened and we could finally leave our driveway without having to wait for three minutes. I was–am–someone who is part of this constant movement, I never know what it is like to hit stop and how to be alone. During March, up until early June, I was forced to stop life. I didn’t wake up almost every morning at 6:30am for school, I wasn’t at work on the days I didn’t have school, the nights I spent with my boyfriend became phone calls, and I had days where I did nothing but exist in the space I was in. It felt bizarre that the only way I could help was by doing absolutely nothing. I am so used to being in control of everything and this pandemic is something far beyond any of our control–which is why I think so many of us are panicked and scared. We don’t know what it is like to do nothing and have that be enough.
Things I Learned While Being on Pause:
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it’s okay to have nothing to do.
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how good it feels to run in the cold.
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human connection over a phone is not the same as in person, and that’s okay.
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how good it feels to hug and be hugged by someone you love.
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sundays should go back to being a day of rest for the world (the world needs a lazy day).
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dressing up to do absolutely nothing is just as fun as going out (and is a great confidence booster).
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finding other things to focus on that aren’t a part of your everyday routine.
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there is so much we need to work on in the world.
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your best is enough.