I first learned about the “cottagecore” aesthetic when I walked into my sister’s workplace and her coworker told me that I looked like the physical embodiment of cottagecore. I had no idea what that was at the time, but I was very flattered.
For those who don’t know, cottagecore aesthetic is, on the surface, tiny floral prints, book pages, living in the countryside with a family of lambs, drinking tea, and even making your own bread.
But it’s so much more than that.
What is cottagecore?
Last year, The New York Times published an article all about the ethos of cottagecore and how it represents an escapism away from the fast-pace reality of our every day life.
The article mentions how cottagecore is like Animal Crossing but in real life–a modern fantasy of tiny homes, gardening, dainty decor, and living a slow, simplistic lifestyle. There are no phones, urgent work meetings, or lengthly emails to respond to in this lifestyle. In a lot of ways, cottagecore exists in a binary stereotype of traditional, domestic bliss. Most often associated with women (i.e. housewives).
However, many people within the cottagecore community are queer individuals who do not believe in gender binaries. For us queer folk, a cottagecore lifestyle is a safe space to exist without the pressures of society, including living a heteronormative lifestyle.
femmephobia
In a lot of ways, cottagecore embodies what has been traditionally viewed as feminine. Long flowing dresses, flowers, tea cups, and books are all things associated with femininity. And society has deemed these as “lesser” and frowned upon compared to what is known as masculine. This is known as femmephobia.
Femmephobia is the fear or hatred towards anything perceived as femme. Including people. Cottagecore accepts this traditionally feminine binary and uses it to its advantage. It takes what is traditionally known as “feminine” and uses it as a way to reject femmephobia and turn away from the “voices” of society.
Breaking the gender binary
Cottagecore offers a sort of domestic bliss without the traditional gender binary. It’s a community that promotes an escape from rigid social structures and, with evidence from the Times article, advocates for trans rights. It embraces clothing and lifestyle choices that are traditionally feminine or culturally for “housewives” and makes it queer. It rejects the fast-pace of modern society by leading a quiet, pastoral lifestyle.
Typically, there is more criticism toward the feminine side of the binary, so femininity is devalued, such as when gay men are femme presenting, they are deemed “lesser” in the eyes of society (or patriarchy). And since the main goal and purpose of cottagecore is “escapism,” by embracing this traditional femininity its actually OWNING that femininity to turn away from prejudice beliefs.
So, pleasing consider joining me in the cottagecore community. It’s rather peaceful.
xx Kenzie