I am scared that the things I want in life will make you hate me.
You tell me it is impossible to hate me and you love me unconditionally, but I still feel deep down there is the possibility to resent me.
I look at you and still see who you were when you were my age, and I want to so badly give you the things you want in life but that means tearing pieces of myself away. I watch you let yourself go and slowly give up on the things you dream of, and that breaks me.
I want to be able to make myself happy but I know that will break you.
I love the relationship we have now, but I know it is so fragile. I walk so carefully on the sheet of ice we molded beneath our feet. I will always pick you and that terrifies me sometimes, because that might mean letting people go, which I have already done–too many times.
I love what we have, I love our inside jokes, our car rides, our time together, our late night conversations. I love you so deeply and everything we have.
I hope we can always keep what we have now, without letting myself go.
Love,
Me