“Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. By all means, you should follow that. Ellen DeGeneres, (1958 – )
Q: Is it okay for a guy to have the same female friends he had before a girlfriend once he’s in a relationship?
A: I am so glad you asked this! A very prevalent issue that I see in many relationships is how quick one is to drop his/her friends once s/he is in a relationship. Friends are good for you! A friend is someone who can do something you enjoy with, like shopping or going to a show, or participate in a common hobby, like dancing. They provide support and good times, so why give that up? Yes, you may now have a boyfriend or girlfriend who you can do these things with, but it’s not good to narrow yourself down to just one person to spend time with and just because you are now an item, it doesn’t mean you are going to have all the same interests or hobbies; that’s what your friends are for! Many times I see people get into a relationship and then just spend ALL their free time with each other. That’s a really easy way to get tired of each other. It’s good to be well rounded and have a variety of people to spend time with. Spend some time away from your boyfriend or girlfriend; let them miss you! This will make for a healthier relationship.
I understand where this question came from and why many girls feel it is not okay for their boyfriend to have female friends. There is a feeling that if a guy is hanging out with other girls then he is more likely to cheat. Let me tell you something ladies; if a man wants to cheat, he will find a way to cheat and monitoring his friends isn’t going to make a difference. If your boyfriend has female friends, then you need to trust and believe that they are just friends and if these females are true friends then they will want to be your friend too! They’re going to want to get to know you, make sure you’re a good girl for their friend and it would actually be a smart move on your part to befriend his female friends. It will be make it more pleasant to hang out as a group (your guy will love that!). Plus, say you and your guy are having issues, you have a female who knows your boyfriend and can give you her female perspective on what’s going on. Like I said, friends are good for you!
Q: Do you think that is it ever okay to sleep with a man on a first date?
A: Survey says: yes! You would be surprised how many guys actually say it doesn’t affect their opinion of a girl if they sleep with them on a first date. However, it really does depend on the guy, and the girl as well for that matter. If you feel as though this will make the relationship based purely on sex, then don’t do it, but if you feel as though there is a mutual attraction and respect between the two of you and it’s something that you want to do then go for it! The key to figuring this out is communication. The purpose of a first date is to get to know each other, so you should be having a conversation that does just that and in turn, hopefully you can tell what kind of guy you are dealing with. If you are the least bit unsure, then I would say don’t do it, unless you feel you can handle the possibility of nothing coming from this date, in terms of a relationship. Before “giving it up,” have a conversation about where this may be going, are you looking for a relationship? Do you see a second date happening? Or maybe this is purely a sexual attraction and you just want to enjoy this night? That may be the case, but as long as you are both on the same page, then there shouldn’t be an issue.
However, a majority of guys will respect you more if you wait. If you make them work for it, then they will REALLY appreciate when you do “give it up.” To guarantee the mutual respect, I would say wait. Waiting creates anticipation, it creates a challenge, and waiting will keep him interested and if he survives waiting it out, then you know he genuinely does like you. Even so, you may just have an immediate attraction and truly feel that it’s the right thing to do for that night. Finding that immediate feeling is a rare and beautiful thing and I would encourage you to explore whatever way you feel is right.