There are few nudities so objectionable as the naked truth. Agnes Repplier (1855 – 1950)
Q: Why can’t some women let go of the man they fell in love with in the beginning even though he turned into a monster in the end?
A: Sometimes people change, or the circumstances around them change and their true colors are revealed. When this happens it can be really difficult to let go. There may be times when you fall in love with someone and either time passes, or you change and eventually your feelings start to fade. This is difficult, but not as difficult as when your feelings haven’t changed, but the person has. It’s almost as though you have to mourn the loss of someone who is right in front of you. Many times women struggle with letting go of someone, even though they have changed, for two reasons: one being that they are still in love with them and are kind of sideswiped by the change. This is common at this time of our lives. We are growing up, thinking of the future. Life in general is complicated and now we bring a relationship into the mix, it can be hard to put aside the stressors of life and just enjoy the relationship. High school relationships are more carefree, no bills, not too much pressure to think about the future, just going to school and spending time with your boo. It’s a lot easier to just enjoy the relationship, but college is a more serious time and our relationships change as well as the people in the relationship. You probably had a lot of good times with your boyfriend or girlfriend in the beginning of the relationship and just want that back, making it even harder to let go.
Which brings me to my next reason: we can’t help but hope that things will change back to the way before. Unfortunately this may just be wishful thinking and you’re way better off just accepting that this is how things are now and either accepting it or moving on. Like I said before, most likely the feelings are still there. You can’t help how you feel, but this is going to be one of those times where you have to stop thinking with your heart and start thinking with your brain instead. You have to really think how possible is it for things to go back to how they were before. You can’t change anybody but yourself. Make sure you keep that in mind and if you realize he probably won’t change back then do the smart thing and move on. Don’t put yourself through more then you have to.
Q: Why are some guys so shady and two-faced?
A: I’m not sure if there’s a definite answer to this one, but I think the top reason guys are dishonest is because they think it’s more convenient. How many times have you asked a guy a question and he gives you like five different answers until he can find the one he thinks you want to hear? Really overall, guys just want to give girls what they want, or think they want. So they may tell you you’re the only girl they’re dating or lie about where they’re going just because he thinks that what’s easier and probably more likely to avoid an argument. Guys just assume what we want to hear and say that when really most girls would just appreciate some honesty so that they can know what to expect from a guy. If you’re in a situation where you feel like a guy is being shady, then just let him know that you want him to be open and honest with you, but not in an accusing way. You can say something like, “I don’t mean to assume anything, but I just want to make sure that you know you never need t
o lie to me, even if you think it’ll make things easier if you do. Honesty is really important to me and I think things are more likely to go smoother between us if we just always tell each other the truth.” Then take that opportunity to ask him if there’s anything he’s avoided telling you that he would like to tell you now.
If he continues to be shady and winds up being way more two faced than you thought then you need to just forget about him. Don’t even try to figure out why he is the way he is, just move on, don’t waste any more time on him. You deserve the honesty you’re asking and willing to give yourself. However, make sure that you make it so that your guy doesn’t feel like he has to lie to you. Don’t make any assumptions about him. For example, don’t assume that his close female friend is really his secret other girlfriend and act cold towards him when he wants to hang out with her or request that he don’t see her anymore. This will put pressure on him and make a situation where trust is on the line and he may just choose to lie when they hang out causing for a pretty sticky situation, if you ask me. Make sure you think before you react. Ask yourself, is this a situation that may cause your guy to feel he can’t be honest with you? A lot of times guys really aren’t that shady, but the stereotypes we hear about guys make us assume they might be. So just make sure you’re being objective when deciding if you’re dealing with a guy who’s being shady or two faced.