A New Way of Seeing Things

I haven’t worn my glasses since the last week of June. No real reason, other than laziness, but no one has said anything. Maybe, people aren’t observant about my insignificant self, or maybe, they assume I’m wearing contacts, which would be a false assumption. I hate sticking those lenses to my eyeballs, but how could anyone blame me for not wanting to wear them? There are so many horror stories out there. I mean, no thank you.

My vision really isn’t that bad. I’m near-sighted, so it only becomes an issue when I’m out in the real world trying to read road signs and see people’s faces, minor things really. Sure, some may think that being able to read road signs, especially while driving, and seeing people’s faces could be a con, but it’s also quite the pro. 

Oh, was that the street we were supposed to turn on to go to look at lampshades for two hours, mother? Well, oops, just passed it, didn’t see it there. Guess we can’t go.  

Oh, sorry, I didn’t see you all the way over there. If I did, I definitely would have come to your club table to show my support. 

See? Life could be great. Any minor inconvenience could be settled with a quick excuse that I have poor eyesight. Plus, I don’t have the hassle of remembering to wear them, which, yes, is an issue for me and is also the reason why I stopped wearing them. 

But worry not, dear friends, if I’m ever in a real bind, scientists have found a way to see without glasses or contacts. I just have to “make a tiny, tiny hole using my fingers, look through it, and the world will become clear again,” as Henry Reich, some science guy, says. 

Sure, making a tiny hole with your fingers seems like it shouldn’t help you see better. There’s some real science behind it, but personally, I don’t understand it. But to convince you that it works, I tried it, and I could read the time on the digital clock eleven feet away from me. (Usually, I can’t distinguish the numbers from that distance.) And my dad, whose vision is worse than mine, tried the new and improved way, and it worked for him, too. Although, I feel I should mention for scientific integrity that my mother, who is reluctant to believe anything from the Internet, also tried it but claimed it didn’t work. 

Regardless, I know realistically I’ll probably have to throw on my glasses sooner or later to see and stuff. But for now, I think I’m gonna postpone. Again, no real reason, other than laziness. But if you happen to see a gal walking around peering through a tiny hole she made with her fingers, that’d be me.