This time last year, a pit was constantly in my stomach because I still had absolutely no idea where I was going to be spending the next four years. I was constantly afraid that I would make the wrong decision, whether it be the wrong fit for myself or my family. I was dodging questions left and right about my choice in school, and was just ready for the May 1st deadline that would force me to make a decision.
When I finally decided to attend Rhodes College, I was filled with excitement, hope, but most of all, relief. I thought that now that I had finally made up my mind about where I was going to go to school everything would be great. In my mind, I would have the perfect friend group right off the bat, excel and find my place in college, and that I would be so comfortable here that I would never miss home. I never for a second would have thought that there would be loneliness, confusion, and a few tears amidst the frenzy of starting a new journey.
While I definitely have spent my fair share of confusion during my freshman year and am, in all honesty, ready for it to be over, I’ve also had at least one good story for every bad one. If anything describes this year, it’s definitely the song “Head Full of Doubt / Road Full of Promise.” Even though sometimes I’m still filled with doubt about whether or not this is the right place for me and have days where I don’t have any idea what I’m doing, in front of me I can see a road full of promise.
Freshman year has been incredibly hard, draining, and confusing, and I stand by my belief that whoever said these would be “the best four years of your life” obviously forgot about the first year. However, even through all of this, I still see the light at the end of the tunnel. As hard as this year has been, the puzzle pieces are starting to come into place, and the beginnings of a time of promise and hope are appearing. If I had been told anything before moving into college, I wish it was just this: that you’ll have a head full of doubt, but bit by bit, there will start to be a road full of promise unfolding before you. Through all the struggles and challenges life throws at us, there are bound to be a few signs of promise, and as hard as it can be, it’s important to hold onto those during times of doubt.