On the last episode of “Dumb Bitch Chronicles,” you saw me struggling with Steve. And hookup culture. And how I’m jaded and a mess and a human garbage can. Well, I wish I could say I’ve changed. But alas, I have yet to. Or, at least, have yet to make a substantial change.
I mean, in these past couple weeks I do think I’ve learned a lot about myself. Now, I know that I don’t thrive in the hookup culture environment, but more importantly, I learned I can be the villain in someone else’s story. Now, this is a rough ass lesson to learn, lemme tell you. Like, you can be a bad person. How wild is that concept? Like you reading this, you may suck (I doubt you do, but like…~dramatic effect~). Maybe this is just wild for me because I strive for perfection in all aspects of my life. I want to, no, need to feel like I am a good person. Because of this, I may or may not have a tendency to put on a pair of rose-colored glasses every time I glance in the moral mirror. But, honest to God, I try to be a good person. I really do. But I definitely could have handled the whole Steve situation with a little more grace. But I didn’t. And that’s okay, because I learned (or at least that’s what I’m telling myself so I don’t feel like a total trash human).
But enough about Steve and my existential crisis, let’s talk about cuffing season. And the fact that I will never be a participant because I’m destined to a life of binge-watching Nicholas Sparks movies, alone, crying silently into the darkened abyss that has become my love life. Yes, I am a basic bitch who has a tendency for dramatic flair, but that’s beside the point. The point is, this flu season, not only did I catch a nasty cough, I caught a crush. And man, has the crush really been hitting me hard. First off, I totally freaked, because, you know, I do that. And may or may not have gotten too excited about the potential I had with this guy. What can I say (not to be that horoscope bitch, but I am her), my Venus is in Pisces, meaning, I have a tendency to romanticize anyone and everyone. But he fell through the cracks and into the arms of another girl, who, just so you know, looks so much like me it hurts. I mean, can a bitch get a break?! The answer is no. No, a bitch cannot. So you know what I’m gonna do? Nothing. Because I’m tired of chasing. And I’m also tired of boys only talking to me because they want to fuck me. Because right now, that’s the only guy I’m attracting. And I really don’t give off “I will let you fuck me” vibes. Honestly, I don’t know if a guy has genuinely liked me in a hot second. Which touches back on my feeling that maybe I’m not that great of a human. And yes, I shouldn’t judge my self worth on guys and how much attention they give me. But it does make me pause. Because I’m a girl and that’s what society keeps telling me my self worth should be based on. And I care about other people’s perception of me. Mix that with my need for constant attention and you’ve got the dumb bitch cocktail. For real, I am THE attention whore. So I’ve decided to go cold turkey, just in time for Thanksgiving. No. More. Boys. Because I think I need to spend some time with myself. And just be happy with who I am. And maybe think about what vibes I’m giving off to attract so many trash guys. Will I actually stick to this? I hope so. But, who knows? Because let’s be real: I am a mess. But tune in next episode to see how much of a mess I really am and whether or not I kinda sorta clean up my act.
Well, that’s all I’ve got for now,
XOXO,
Your favorite dumb bitch.