Ask Scarlett: How do I Address a Cold Shoulder?

“What should I do about a so-called friend that ignores me (won’t make eye contact and turns body away from me)?

I can’t figure out what happened because he is the one that I should be mad at. I did nothing except go out with a family friend. The only thing that I did was visit another friend at the hospital, and then last night I know I pissed him off because I sent a text to the group that my other friend bought us beer and that I wanted to go to a party after.” 

It’s not cool of your friend to be giving you the cold shoulder without communicating any issues in your friendship like an adult. The best thing to do now is to figure out what’s really going on. While it’s their responsibility to speak up if there’s an issue, asking them about their change in behavior towards you may clear things up, and you can decide on how to proceed from there. 

You should also be honest with yourself: is this friendship healthy? All friends will fight sometimes, but this sounds like a jealousy issue. They seem to resent the fact that you’re hanging out with other people, and if that’s the case, then that is not okay. Trying to make you feel guilty for having other friends is manipulative, and no one should make you feel bad about having a great support system. 

“hi Scarlett, should I take a dating app cleanse?”

Hey there!

The fact that you’re asking indicates that taking a break from the dating apps wouldn’t hurt. If you’re not having fun, consider giving yourself a week off, deleting the apps off your phone, and spending some quality time with yourself! 

If you find that you miss it after a week, feel free to get back in the game. If not, take all the time that you need.

“Hi anonymous advice columnist, advice on how to (gently) kick an obnoxious roommate off our lease for next year?”

Hi!

The very first thing you should do when it’s time to “break up” with a roommate is to let them know as soon as possible. Will it prolong the awkwardness? Probably, but it’s worth the courtesy of giving them enough time to find somewhere else to live.

When it comes to breaking the news, the best way to put it is that you value your friendship with them too much to stay in a situation that would ruin it. Sometimes, even the best of friends aren’t compatible roommates, and sometimes the only way to figure that out is through experience.

 

 

 

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