As a woman of God, sometimes it is hard to be who you are in a world full of many different people. There are people who may not understand who you serve, or why you choose to serve Him. Some people might understand Christianity, but do not understand your relationship with God.
Anybody can say they love God. There is nothing wrong with that. But I am talking about that real, reckless love. Loving God means being misunderstood. Loving God means losing some of your closest friends. Loving God means feeling uncomfortable sometimes. Loving God means feeling alone when you choose the higher road. Loving God means struggling with who you think you are and who God wants you to be. Loving God means being judged and sometimes even persecuted. Never think for one second that loving God is always easy. It isn’t.
It’s interesting though, that no matter how much I go through, people would never know unless I told them. Because I choose God despite what others might think of me, He continues to make me look blessed and highly favored on the outside even when I am broken on the inside. He loves me so much that He will not allow my brokenness to bring me down. This is what I call, graceful brokenness.
My father has cancer. He is like my best friend and it has taken a huge toll on not only him, but the whole family. However, we still smile, laugh, love others, and work hard every day, because we put our trust in God that He is in control. Graceful brokenness. I have a new job, and it has been so hard, but so rewarding. I work all day, come home, do more work, then do my schoolwork all night, just to get up early and do it all again. However, I am pushing through, smiling and laughing with my bosses and my clients, maintaining an A average GPA, and working harder than ever because God has given me a purpose and it is time for me to fulfill it no matter how hard it gets. Graceful brokenness.
If you are reading this, I want you to know that it is okay to be different. It might be hard, but it will be well worth it. When you choose to love God, some people may become intimidated by who you are and others may become fascinated with who you are. At the end of the day, it is up to you to show them how God works in your life by loving the ones who do not understand. We are different, yes, but God is using us for something more than anyone could ever imagine. NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT GOD HAS CALLED YOU TO DO! Prepare yourself, sis. God is doing great things!