His Ex GF Requested You- What Now?

It seems that just because nothing on the Internet can be permanently deleted, nothing from your past can be either.  Sometimes, the fact that the word “friend” is in the term “friend request” slips the minds of an overeager ex.  Why would your man’s former lover send a friend request to poor, unsuspecting you? It doesn’t matter if he’s been with you for years or if he’s just a recent hookup: the past and the present don’t taste well when mixed together.

 

First, you stare at the friend request and wonder if what you’re seeing is real.  Then, you screenshot it and ask your friends what they think you should do.  Third, you consider telling your guy, but then avoid it because the idea of her crossing his mind for even a second is torture.  There are two ways to go from here: “Confirm” it, or give her the old “Not Now.”  What’s a girl to do?

 

 

You’re obviously going to stalk her page for a bit and ask your friends if they think she’s pretty (to which they’ll kindly respond “HELL no!”), but that’s only the beginning.  You’ll accept the friend request because you feel it’s the only way to handle the situation, and denying it would make you look scared of her.  Now, you have to cope with the fact that you are now friends with someone online who you would rather strangle in real life.  

Here’s what to remember from this friend request on:

 

1. The Block Button is Your Friend – Want to avoid that feeling of vomit coming up your throat every time she’s on your news feed? Simple – make her posts disappear.  You may think that you could be missing out on a post with a red flag, for example, if you see your guy in the background of one of her pictures; but in actuality, the mere fact that you need to be on the lookout for this may signal that you should be with someone more trustworthy.

 

2. Never Post Things With Her In Mind – Do not strain your texting thumbs from uploading pictures where you look hot or a novel about your amazing night out just because you want her to see it.  Going H.A.M with Facebook posts, for whatever the reason, just makes you look a bit crazy, and I doubt that that’s the idea you’re trying to give your man’s ex. It’s also important to remember to avoid passive posts at all costs: saying something like “You’re his ex for a reason” comes off as obsessive and will strike her as intimidation on your part.  If you love your life and think you have a guy who’s crazy about you, you have nothing to prove to her.

 

3. Keep the Stalking to a Minimum – He’s done with her, and you should be too.  Something like seeing a picture where she looks sort of, kind of, pretty next to her ugly friend may have the capacity to ruin your day.  Don’t expose yourself to seeing something you don’t want to see, and have it tear at your self-esteem.  There’s no reason for that bull – whoever you’re with is with you now, and it’s because he’s over her.  Keep your eyes on the prize (AKA your guy)…it’s one of the many things you have that she doesn’t!

 

4. She Sent the Request…Not You – Which makes you much more mature right off the bat.  Clearly she couldn’t control the urge to indulge in your business, which should just make you feel like a badass.  You’re with someone she was with in the past, and now she’s requesting to be your “friend”.  Instead of being offended, take it as a compliment.  She went out of her way to show that she’s interested in your life – and she may even be living hers through yours in a weird cyber-y way.

 

The main takeaway?  Social media is every psycho ex’s dream: she can virtually follow you around, without risking the possibility of a restraining order.  Just be yourself at all times – whether she’s present in real life, or just on your news feed – because you’re already awesome enough to have the man she clearly still wants.