People are scared to talk about sex, masturbation and anything intimate despite the fact that we all do these things and they are a part of our lives. My least favourite thing is when someone tells me: “TMI,” after I mention something slightly taboo or when a friend tells me to lower my voice when we are talking about a “risky” subject in public. We all have our own ideas about what is appropriate for conversation, but it makes me cringe when people make others feel awkward for stating the obvious and being honest about their body, their sex, and anything in between.
How can talking about sex and our bodies be too much information when all of us do it, a lot of us have had sex with people we barely know and we all have bodies that do the same things. Why is there still this awkwardness around the topic and why shy away instead of laughing about it and learning more in the process?
I think that a lot of the reasoning behind all this is due to us being scared of sex. We are ashamed to have sex with someone who we are not dating and the judgment that follows. Take as step back and think about how strange this is when sex is the most natural thing about us.
Key components of a positive successful relationship are communication, respect and trust. I think that these aspects are missing from a lot of intimate relationships because our society doesn’t reflect them. If we could improve communication and be more open about our sex life without fear of losing other people’s respect or being called derogatory names, what would our society look like?
We’ve obviously come a long way in terms of openness and acceptability as a society, but there is definitely room for improvement. It all boils down to little things that we look past and say without even realizing: when a girl whispers to her friend that a perfect stranger is a slut for wearing a short skirt to the bar, that she just wants attention or when guys use the word “kills” to refer to the number of girls they slept with. If we are saying these disrespectful things about our peers, it is no wonder there is a lack of trust and respect between us.
We don’t know how to communicate about anything involving sex. If we did, we would understand that the girl is wearing a short skirt because she wants to feel attractive and maybe even wants sex, just like the rest of us….and that should be okay, but apparently it is not. Studies have shown that when seeking advice and information on anything related to sexual health, most people consult the internet first. Shouldn’t we be consulting each other?
Try not to be embarrassed about sex. Yes we all do it, but what will happen if we can actually ask questions about it. You probably only have one or two friends that you feel comfortable talking about the details of sex to, but why don’t we change that? Whether you are seeking advice or you are laughing about it, try to break the taboo around it and open up the lines of communication surrounding sex because it is nothing that anyone should ever feel ashamed of.