Have you ever wondered what life would be like if you were a Kardashian? Well now, it’s time for you to imagine the Kardashians as mere mortals, such as ourselves. If the Kardashian-Jenners went to Queen’s University, what faculties/programs would they be in?
Commerce AKA Kris Jenner
Business savvy “momager” is Kris Jenner and she loves it. She runs the Kardashian empire and loves it. In fact, she loves it so much, she can’t stop talking about it. She’s always on her phone making deals, networking, and finding new ways to make BANK.
You can find Kris the Commie in one of the study rooms at Goodes Hall with her Starbucks. Either that, or she’s having a photoshoot for her latest LinkedIn headshot (… you’re doing great sweetie, but make sure you get the School of Business banner in the background…thanks doll!)
ArtSci AKA Kylie Jenner
It’s no surprise that Kylie is in ArtSci. You sit behind her during your 3 hours lectures in Dunning, and she’s doing some online shopping—productive! You often find yourself creeping her Instagram and Snapchat accounts, and wondering how she can afford to go out to eat every day. We imagine that Kylie would trade her Balenciagas for Blundstones if she went to Queen’s.
You can find Kylie at MacCorrey with a CGC salad, or on the Queen’s Baddies page.
Law AKA Kim Kardashian West
This is obviously the queen herself, Kim Kardashian West. In an interview with Busy Philips, Kim said that if she wasn’t famous, she would probably be a lawyer. From her impactful contributions to the Alice Johnson case to her meetings with the POTUS, to the most recent financial aid cases she’s been involved with for previously incarcerated individuals to help reintegrate back into society, Kim’s morals are demonstrated in her legal skills.
Great meeting with @KimKardashian today, talked about prison reform and sentencing. pic.twitter.com/uOy4UJ41JF
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 30, 2018
You can find Kim Kardashian West, future lawyer, at Douglas Library—she’s literally always studying her ass off because she takes this shit seriously. She means business… Bible.
Con-Ed AKA Kourtney Kardashian
It’s no secret that Kourtney Kardashian is a proud mom. She’s constantly posting about her kids and their accomplishments, her favourite family-friendly products, parenting tips, and Disney World trips. She’s young at heart and supports and believes in the next generation of leaders, which is why she is Con-Ed.
You can find Kourtney at her apartment downtown, most likely meal prepping (she found some great recipes on Pinterest).
Nursing AKA Khloe Kardashian
Khloe is definitely the most nurturing out of all the Kardashians. Although she is known for her blunt attitude, she does it all out of love. She wears her heart on her sleeve, whether it be by publicly declaring her support and love for her family or with an Instagram story/quote. She cares for her loved ones—throwback to when she let her younger brother Rob live with her for YEARS. She even stood by Lamar’s side when he was battling substance abuse, despite the relationship issues they had been having.
You can find Khloe grabbing a quick bite to eat at Tim’s because she’s so busy—the girl’s barely got time to eat, so you’ll be lucky to have a chat with her in between clinical shifts.
Kinesiology AKA Kendall Jenner
In addition to her passion for couture and luxurious Fashion Weeks and trips abroad, Kendall is definitely the most adventurous and athletic out of the Kardashian-Jenners. From horseback riding to cheerleading, to kickboxing, Kendall has publicly stated that she thinks she has inherited her Olympian father’s (Caitlyn Jenner’s) athleticism. She doesn’t only work out to be in shape, but also because she genuinely loves sports.
You can find Kendall at the ARC in her athleisure, with her gym bag and a booster juice.
Engineering AKA Scott Disick
Scott gets his work done; not only is he a businessman, but he’s also a party animal, and that’s why he’s the perfect fit for Engineering at Queen’s. He treats the ILC like a country club, and can’t stop talking about himself and his accomplishments. We can only imagine what kind of shenanigans he would get up to during Frosh Week.
You can find Scott either at the ILC or downtown at the club—there’s no in-between.
Fine Arts AKA Kanye West
Okay, he’s not a Kardashian or Jenner, but without a doubt, Kanye is in the Fine Arts program. Obviously, Kanye is a literal music artist, with his extensive and popular discography. How could you forget when he and his family members have so confidently and proudly professed numerous times? But, looking past his musical art, Ye is no stranger to the art world. Kanye is known for constantly purchasing and appreciating all sorts of art, and using some awesome pieces for his album artwork. Not to mention that he’s an artist in the fashion industry, with his designer line Yeezy being worth over 1.5 billion dollars.
You can find Yeezy in the studio, working on some new material, whether it be music, visuals, or fashion. Either that, or he’s tweeting LIKE THIS!!!!!!
Music AKA Travis Scott
While he isn’t a Kardashian, Travis Scott is in the music program. He keeps to himself—in fact, sometimes we forget that he goes to Queen’s.
Travis is almost always in one of the practice rooms in the basement at Harrison-LeCaine Hall, the music building cooking up something fire!
CompSci AKA Rob Kardashian
Last but not least, we have Rob. Robert Kardashian, well, we haven’t seen him. He’s that guy you’re supposed to do a group project with, only to find out later that he dropped the course.
You don’t ever really know where Rob is, but sometimes you briefly pass by him at the U&U scramble. As usual, he pretends like he doesn’t know you. Hello?? Rob?? WE WERE ON THE SAME FLOOR IN FIRST YEAR! Nothing? Okay.
Honorable Mentions
MIA AKA Jordyn Woods
Unfortunately, Jordyn was caught sleeping with a TA by a fellow classmate, even though she swears she was only sitting on the armrest of his desk chair looking over an essay. She’s too embarrassed to show her face on campus. But she’s probably hiding studying in the basement of Botterell Hall. Classic Jordyn.
Expelled AKA Tristan Thompson
Tristan was caught plagiarizing, so he has been expelled! But honestly, he’s been plagiarizing all his assignments in all his courses, so we’re a little confused as to how he got expelled just now…
Over it AKA Caitlyn Jenner
Caitlyn is getting ready to go to her next class, and is absolutely over this article, just like you.
Celebrities… they’re not just like us, but could be, if you imagine hard enough.