Spoiler warning!
Emma Seligman’s “Shiva Baby” dances along the fine line between cringe-inducing and absurd while also exuding a refreshing authenticity.
At the heart of “Shiva Baby” is Danielle, a 22-year-old on the cusp of graduating, entering the workforce, and learning to exist as a real person. She returns home to attend a Shiva with her family, but she is surprised to find both her ex-girlfriend and Sugar Daddy in attendance.
Imagine how grossly horrifying the mix of family and sexual partners would be, the mix of different sexual partners. Trapped within the confines of a single house, Danielle must navigate the awkwardness of reuniting with former lovers, the relentless barrage of questions from extended family, and the overall confusion of being 22-years-old and caught in this maze of feelings, expectations and disappointment.
Danielle, a bisexual gender studies student, finds herself in a constant struggle for her parents’ understanding. They dismiss her bisexuality as “funny business” and find hesitancy in believing a gender studies degree will equip her for the workforce.
It feels as though everyone is closing in on her; the claustrophobia is almost palpable and is nauseatingly intense. Everyone seems to have something to say about her: her body, her relationship status, her choice of major. There are no boundaries, and the irony emerges from viewers’ clear understanding of the inappropriateness of Danielle’s family but their naivety to it.
As a 21-year-old Jewish woman, I couldn’t help but feel a strong connection with the film. The plot, while a bit of a stretch in its premise, manages to maintain authenticity. Judaism serves as the glue, connecting all the characters and rationalizing the absurdity on screen.
Those involved with the Jewish community can relate to the unique experience of constant run-ins at community events, for a Jewish person certainly cannot go somewhere like a Shiva without expecting to encounter a slew of connections. We, in the Jewish community, refer to this as “Jewish Geography”: the way we can all connect through one mutual friend or another. For someone with even a hint of social anxiety, it’s overwhelming and daunting.
The film beautifully portrays Danielle’s precarious dance between lingering adolescence and impending adulthood. She navigates adult relationships, job searches, and her gradual entry into the real world, all while not being fully independent yet. Her parents still financially support her and do all but keep this discreet, and they take on her job search as if it’s their own, denying her the independence to discover herself and her true aspirations.
We witness her attempts to assert her maturity, especially in front of her older Sugar Daddy, as she presents herself as someone far more established than she is. She works desperately to quiet her inner child, who is still present in her character. She breaks down in tears and is just oozing with shame as she looks to her mother and asks if she is disappointed in her. Her internal conflict is beautifully actualized at this moment, and it becomes clear that she is deeply stricken with confusion.
“Shiva Baby” was born from a short film created for Seligman’s NYU thesis project. As a fellow film student, I’m always filled with excitement from hearing success stories like hers. After watching the original short and seeing the progressions it went through to become the film it is today, I can’t help but feel inspired. Her work is both beautifully approachable and fabulously executed in the same breath.
“Shiva Baby” is often labelled as a comedy, but it’s a multidimensional gem. It delves into drama and emotion with a soft and nuanced exploration of family dynamics and personal growth. At times, it even ventures into horror, unveiling the terror of discomfort and the suffocation of family. I wholeheartedly recommend watching this film, as it transcends genre boundaries and represents a fresh piece of work from a talented young director.