As a graduating student, I wanted to reflect on some of the lessons I have learned in the past four years of my undergrad, which, by the way, went by way too quickly.
1. There’s no such thing as an ideal timeline
I used to think that there was a right and wrong way of living your life. My view of the world was so limited to the high school-university-graduation-full-time job mindset that I failed to recognize all of the other exciting paths there are to life. I felt like there was a huge pressure to follow the formula or I would be seen as not good enough.
But I think what changed in me was in my fourth year, seeing so many of my friends begin to plan their lives. Some are staying for another year in school, some are moving back home, some are starting brand new jobs, some are engaged, and lots of us don’t know what’s next. And that’s okay. I have had a crash course in accepting that you don’t always have to know what’s next after I didn’t get into the school I had hoped to attend next year.
When I would have been scared and stressed, I can see that it’s more exciting than anything because now the possibilities are endless!
2. It’s okay to outgrow your friends
My social circle has changed a lot throughout university. At first, I tried really hard to hold on to certain relationships and was upset when things didn’t quite feel the same. As I grew individually, some of my friendships became distant and unfulfilling. While I was growing, my friends were too, except in different directions. What I had to learn is that this is such a normal part of adulthood. Growth is natural and it is better to allow for space than to hold on to when things aren’t working anymore. This doesn’t mean cutting the other person off, but recognizing that relationships change and you can still be friends even if you aren’t as close as you used to be.
3. Something is better than nothing
Burnout hit me hard at various points throughout the past four years. Not only was I exhausted from all of the work I had to keep up with, but the mental load was just as tiring, thinking about all the things I needed to do. This put me in a sort of paralysis where I couldn’t seem to get anything done. But what I learned from being tired and unmotivated is that even just a little bit of effort is better than none. Sometimes the idea of saying I’m going to go to the library and finish a paper is too much, so just changing that to, right now I’m just going to write a topic sentence, makes it seem actually doable. Or the same thing with the gym, just go and do a few things, or spend 30 minutes instead of an hour, because it’s better than doing nothing. And often, you outperform what you think you’re capable of.
4. You are what you eat
I have really come to understand this phrase on a different level over the past few years. The easiest way to understand it is to think of it in its more literal sense, relating to food: if you eat healthy food, you will be healthy; if you eat junk food, you will feel like junk.
But the saying, for me, goes beyond food. Think about the things you eat as the things you absorb on a daily basis; the people you surround yourself with; the environments you put yourself in. Over time, we become our friends and we are influenced by their habits, in the same way we are influenced by the media we consume. It is important to recognize this because we could either be doing this for our benefit or to our detriment.
Be with people who inspire you and lift you up. Don’t go back to places or parties that bring out the worst in you. Tailor your routines to make you a better person— listening to music that inspires you, watching shows that make you think, reading books that challenge your perspective.
I heard this saying recently that might be more fitting: “You are what you repeat.”
