When you’re texting a guy it’s really easy to overthink what’s being said (or not said), especially if he’s not good at texting. It’s hard to not overthink when you don’t know where he stands or you haven’t put a “label” on it yet. While girls are great at overthinking and reading into texts, guys are great at doing the exact opposite: NOT thinking. I have accumulated some things that girls do which guys simply don’t notice or don’t even care about. I think it’s really important that when you’re talking to a guy that you’re being yourself and not reading into texts, cause usually, they don’t have a deeper meaning. Here are some things that you should try to stop doing:
- Not Texting First Because It Makes You Seem Desperate
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This is such a common thing, and I catch myself doing it all the time. The “if he really cares, he would text first”, but what if you look at it through the guy’s perspective: if you’re not texting him, does that show that you’re interested? It’s always nerve-wracking sending that first text, but guys really like it when girls put themselves out there and make the first move. It shows that you know what you want and not afraid to go after it. We need to get out of this headspace that texting first means that you’re desperate, because when guys text first, you don’t think that they’re desperate. You’re flattered when they text you, so try to do the same!
- Turning on Reads and Not Replying Right Away
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I think every girl is guilty of this one: waiting a certain amount of time before responding so it doesn’t seem like you were waiting around for that text. One time my guy friends even made fun of me, for waiting to reply to the guy I liked, instead of replying right when I saw it. They thought it was ridiculous and that if you’re interested you should just text back. Another thing that girls sometimes do is turn on their reads, so that if they’re annoyed or mad, the guy will know that they read the message. Guys are absolutely oblivious and even if you turned your reads on, the chances of them checking that is truly slim. Your best bet is to actually talk about how you’re feeling rather than playing mind games.
- Trying to Come up With the Perfect Response
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I think this one might be the most common: when a guy texts you, you send the message to your group chat with your closest friends to get advice on the “perfect” message. You want to sound funny and interested but not too forward. If your friends are the one’s making up the message, then it’s not coming from you. If the guy is talking to you, then he wants to hear what you have to say! It’s definitely okay to ask for help if you don’t know what to say, but don’t worry too much about the wording of it or making yourself sound cool. The most important thing is to be yourself!
- Reading Too Much Into a Text
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The final thing that girls should try to stop doing is reading too much into a text. If he said “ok” instead of “okay”, what does this mean? What if he says “k”, then he probably doesn’t like me. Granted, the guy should know not to “K” someone, but there’s a slim chance that he actually meant something by it. For the most part, guys don’t have a hidden meaning behind their text. Reading too much into a text will just make you go crazy, take the text as it is.
Ladies, let’s try to make 2020 the year that we cut back on these habits that make it harder on ourselves. Doing some of these things can make you go crazy and you might end up getting mad or upset, but I’m sure that the guy didn’t mean it. If you like the guy enough to spend so much time analyzing the text, then you should really try to cut back on these bad habits to actually enjoy the conversation! It’s definitely easier said than done, but if you catch yourself doing one of these things, try to stop. This will make your life a lot easier!