The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
I should probably begin by telling you what “The Three Month Rule” is. There are different interpretations of it, but the one I’m referring to is the idea that many relationships end after three months. And, as many like to extrapolate from that, if the relationship lasts longer than three months, there is a much higher chance of it lasting indefinitely.
Now, if you don’t believe me, just think about your favourite television show. How long does a new couple or newly-formed group of friends normally stay problem-free for? About a season. And how long is a season? That’s right, three months!
Of course, this rule can also be seen in real-life and now that you know about it, you’ll probably notice it everywhere. Then the question becomes, what can you do about it?
The truth is that there is real logic behind this three month behaviour. People can only pretend to be someone that they’re not for up to three months; after that, their true colours will start to show and the honeymoon period is forced to come to an end.
This is a trap that many fall into. Whether it be telling a new friend who your crush is or deciding how far to go with a new romantic partner, it’s never fun when you find out a few weeks later that they didn’t have your best interests at heart. It leads to regret, creates problems with trusting the subsequent people that you meet, and causes you to potentially miss out on finding the friends who are really right for you.
Unfortunately, as much as you may wish it, you can’t really prevent it from happening. You’re always going to meet people who fake it ‘til they make it. The difference is that you’ll be able to protect yourself from falling for it.
Learning who you can trust is a significant part of growing up and it’s something that everyone has to do. This tool isn’t perfect by any means, but by using it alongside your feelings and intuition, you can hopefully avoid the experiences of learning when it’s too late. Instead, you can use this rule to support your feeling that something isn’t right, and at the same time, learn to feel confident in trusting those around you.
It’s easy to frame this tool in terms of weeding out people not right for you, but it’s important to remember that it can also help point you toward the people who are right for you! There are so many genuine and kind people in the world who will stand loyally beside you after three months and keep doing so for your entire life—you just need to find them! I hope that by giving you this tool, you’ll be able to do just that. That you’ll be able to find and surround yourself with the people who unconditionally love and support the amazing human being that you are!