This month, I discovered the wonder that is Play It As It Lays by Joan Didion, a postmodern exploration of the emptiness and ennui of American society during the 1960s. Dark, funny and deeply moving, this book has taken over my life.
Set in the desert between Las Vegas and Hollywood, Play It As It Lays centers around the deconstruction of morality and identity in a postmodern America as seen through the novel’s lead, Maria Wyeth. After failing as an actress and being forcibly separated from her institutionalized daughter, Maria drifts through life in a constant state of inertia. She’s selfish, detached, depressed and stuck in a toxic relationship with a man whose cold, dismissive nature, and prominent career as a director, is a constant assault on her world. But she doesn’t push back or fight for autonomy—she is accepting of her life as it is, simply playing the cards she was dealt.Â
Slowly, Maria begins to psychologically unravel, drifting further and further away from reality and herself until nothing is left. Buried in the barren landscape of the desert is a disturbing story of nothingness, and what it is like to live life without meaning. Maria is consumed with the idea of nothingness, about decay and obliteration to the point of obsession. She finds solace in a meaningless life and although that provides her some relief, it allows for harm to seep into her world at any given moment. Like a lot of Didion’s writing, the danger in the story comes from the Hollywood scene in the 1960s. She explores this world of drugs, sex, fame and corruption in relation to its effect on the individual’s psychological and moral emptiness.
Didion brilliantly presents this emptiness through the spacing of text in the novel. Many chapters are short, scarce and often feel incomplete. Chapters go back and forth between first and third person, mirroring her alienation from life. The space on the page further reveals this disconnect, with some pages having more space than text. However, it is in this space that much of the violence of the story takes place. In this empty space, we can infer the actions of strangers that are too painful to put to text, infer the words that are straining to not be said aloud. It is here that we are submerged in Maria’s psyche, in the wasteland of her mind.Â
There are a few moments of ecstasy for Maria, all of which take place driving for hours on the coast of California, speeding down the highways. This action of driving with no destination and no end in sight is the euphoric embodiment of her despair. While driving, she is in control of her aimlessness—her lack of direction is hers and hers alone.
The whole novel is told through a series of fragmented dream-like scenes, an attempt to make whole the broken pieces of Maria’s life. The non-linear narrative allows for an exploration of these various parts of Maria’s world that both construct and deconstruct her identity. Her sense of self dissolves as the story progresses. All the while, the series of repeated traumatic experiences shape her perspective, and cements her understanding and acceptance of a life without meaning. It becomes the reason she keeps playing the cards she’s is dealt, constantly choosing to live her life despite the nothingness it brings.
Maria is a character I deeply resonate with, and I think most people would. Her nihilistic approach to life is a common outcome in a society of moral destruction. Play It As It Lays is brutal, raw, unforgiving and overall a wonderful read. If you are curious why you should read this book, I am compelled to respond as Maria would—Why not?