To the skinny girl sick of being called “the skinny girl”:
I get it. I’ve been this my whole life and I still am.
They don’t get it. They don’t get how it’s never been your choice to be the skinny girl. They don’t get that you do eat enough and you do exercise and you are healthy. Perhaps they think that since super skinny models may have dominated the perception of beauty historically, you will automatically take “so skinny” as a compliment. They “compliment” you on your biggest, deepest, darkest insecurity and they do it ever so casually.
Skinny shaming is real. I’m sick of seeing it discounted as something not worth standing up against. “You’re so fat” has the same negative and excruciating impact on someone as “you’re so skinny.” In fact, “you’re so anything” hits home just as hard if that “anything” is what you’re most insecure about. You’re so short. You’re so tall. You’re so pale. You’re so tan. STOP pointing out aspects of people’s appearance unless it is clearly a compliment. It is likely that the other person already knows that they’re short and skinny and pale. They don’t need to hear it again. They see it every time they look in the mirror. However, they may not know that they look pretty today or that their hair looks nice, so tell them that instead.
Now, for what I really want to tell the skinny girl who’s sick of being called the skinny girl. When you don’t like something about yourself, you essentially have two options: (1) change it or (2) learn to love it.
1. Changing it.
Someone once told me that I’m so skinny and I should just try eating an entire bucket of KFC in one sitting to gain some weight. And honestly, I have tried eating a lot. It would go straight to my stomach because my body just doesn’t store fat in any other place. I got “skinny fat”. I had thin arms and thin legs and a belly that hung over my jeans. That was not the right way to change it and it made me even more insecure about my body.
Personally, I’ve found that the best way to change it is to work out and build muscle. Now, I know how intimidating the gym is. I used to be so scared of being judged at the gym like “why is she here, she’s already so skinny.” My first comment to that is to start working out at home. Roll out your yoga mat and do some basic workouts to find your groove and develop some confidence. Eventually these workouts will stop making you sore and you’ll need to go to the gym to add weight so you can start feeling it and growing more. My second, and perhaps more important comment to that is to understand that no one at the gym cares about you. Everyone is there for the same reason and everyone started at the same place. People at the gym are nicer than you think. 9.9999 times out of 10 someone will help you if you’re doing something wrong, rather than judge you for it.
Go to the gym. Push yourself. Drink a whey protein shake after (they’re actually delicious). Go at it consistently and you WILL grow and get stronger.
2. Learning to love it.
Don’t get me wrong, I am all about self-love and confidence and I wish I had more of it. However, I honestly think it’s a lot harder to “just learn how to love it” than to change it to be the way you wish it was. It reminds me of this meme:
I wish I knew the secret to just stop being insecure and learning to love every part of myself that I’ve ever hated. I know it’s possible though. I used to hate my A-cup boobs but I got over it once I realized that there’s nothing I can do about it. But I think this is the last resort, just because it is genuinely really, really hard. And although not as much as I used to, I still admit that I wouldn’t complain if I could fill up a C-cup bra.
Yes, you should love your body and tell the skinny-shamers to screw off. Love your curves. Love your bones. But if you can’t, it’s something that you can change. I stick to my point about working out and building muscle. To the skinny girl sick of being called “the skinny girl”: take your turn at the squat rack and on the leg press. Not only will you get stronger and healthier, you will grow your entire body the right way.
So go my skinny friends, take up an entire squat rack with confidence. The screaming power-lifters next to you are only looking at themselves.