Are you struggling with orgasming vaginally? Well, you may not be the only one! Continue reading to hear about two brave Queen’s students and their experiences and opinions on orgasms.
How old are you?
Girl A: 22.
Girl B: 21 years old.
Have you ever had a vaginal orgasm during sex?
Girl A: Nope! It frustrated me in the beginning because I thought it was “supposed” to happen and that something was wrong with me as a woman. Upon learning about vaginal orgasms and their actual prevalence I’ve come to accept that it likely will never happen for me and that that’s okay. My partner is not disappointed in me for not having vaginal orgasms, he’s very supportive and just wants to make sure I’m sexually satisfied in whatever capacity I can be.
Girl B: Yes. It lasted maybe 10 seconds and I had to have sex for 10-15 minutes before anything happened but it happens almost every time.
When you became sexually active, did you know there was a difference between a clitoral and vaginal orgasm?
Girl A: Nope!
Girl B: Yes.
Have you heard the statistic of 70% of women cannot orgasm vaginally? If you have, what are your thoughts on that? If you haven’t, now that you know about it, how does it make you feel?
Girl A: I have heard that, and it makes me feel like there’s nothing wrong with me or my body.
Girl B: Yes. I think it’s probably a vast over-exaggeration. Yes, all bodies are different, but for the most part I think it is something that requires communication and practice, and something that many people could figure out.
When you read books or see movies where partners orgasm at the same time during sex, how does that make you feel? Does it frustrate you? What does it make you think?
Girl A: I think “Good for them,” haha.
Girl B: Sometimes it’s frustrating, only because it’s created the idea that if you don’t orgasm with your partner you’re flawed and that the partner doesn’t then need to assist you to orgasm if that’s what you want. Frankly, this is something my partner and I can do and it’s pleasurable when it happens, but when it doesn’t that’s okay too.
The media and the pornography industry portray female orgasms as 100% achievable. Do you believe that is realistic? Do you think it is correct to do this?
Girl A: No, but full disclosure I’ve taken human sexuality courses so I’m a bit well versed on the topic. It’s super unrealistic to portray any sexual aspect to be 100% achievable because everyone is so different. There are many women who will go their entire lives without achieving an orgasm but still consider themselves sexually fulfilled. The media and porn are known for their unrealistic standards and expectations and while I don’t think it’s right that they do so it “is what it is” and all we can do is educate ourselves as that is the best protection.
Girl B: I don’t know if it’s realistic in that there are always going to be some bodies that are different. The media is most flawed in that it doesn’t present the diversity that exists in sex and sexuality, and anything else for that matter. It’s not correct, but if it leads to someone trying new things until they DO orgasm, then it could be good in that regard.