Do you wonder if your first sexual experience was normal or not? If you were old enough, or if the fireworks were mainstream? Keep reading to hear the stories of Queen’s students and the first time they had sex!
How old are you?
Guy A: 18.
Guy B: 22.
Girl C: 21.
How old were you when you lost your virginity?
Guy A: I think I was 14, maybe 15.
Guy B: 15.
Girl C: 15.
Was it with someone random or someone you were dating/loved? Did that person fall under a different category?
Guy A: It was with my current boyfriend of several months.
Guy B: I would have labelled us as “friends with benefits” up until I found out that they had made a bet with my ex on whether or not they could make me not “square” (do people even still use that to describe someone?). We became friends during a very rough time for me in high school, I had broken up with my ex the previous semester and subsequently lost anyone that resembled what would be called a friend; I was sad and lonely. Had it not been for that particular situation I don’t think we would’ve been more than acquaintances in music class and concert/jazz band. Our only common interest was Marilyn Manson.
Girl C: We were dating and I believed we loved each other.
How long did it last?
Guy A: Twenty to thirty minutes.
Guy B: It lasted a little over an hour. I know, it sounds way too long for a first time, but it had nothing to do with amazing sexual prowess and everything to do with me awkwardly trying to stop it and them wanting to continue. There was a lot of “stop and go” so to speak.
Girl C: Roughly 10 minutes.
Did you have any expectations of how it would be to have sex for the first time?
Guy A: I expected it to hurt – that’s the stigma with gay sex.
Guy B: Not really. Media always pushes it into your head that first times are short and bloody, which is a little freaky. Other than that I didn’t have any expectations for what it would be like, I hoped it would be fun. Prior to that I had only seen sex in porn, which I knew was not a good comparison to losing your virginity.
Girl C: No.
How was losing your virginity? Awkward? Amazing? Were there fireworks?
Guy A: Honestly, it was a tad awkward at first, but after a couple of minutes – yes – there were fireworks! I had the mood music going, Bjork, Mariah Carey, Sade, Aaliyah, you name it.
Guy B: Definitely awkward, we were both very high. It didn’t feel pleasurable at all. I just remember wanting it to stop and just go home.
Girl C: Awkward.
How did you plan it?
Guy A: His parents weren’t going to be home so I went over to his place. We talked about it for days just to make sure everything was perfect.
Guy B: We fooled around for a month, maybe two, before we actually had sex. I’m fairly certain it went something like “Let’s get high and have sex.” “Okay.”
Girl C: I didn’t really plan on it.
Before you had sex, were you nervous about it?
Guy A: Of course! What if it didn’t live up to my expectations? What if his parents came home? What if it hurt? There were several concerns.
Guy B: As I mentioned, there was some of the media-induced anxiety about what would go on, but the marijuana took that away. Had I not been high, I definitely would not have had sex with them. Not because of any sort of performance anxiety, it just didn’t feel right to me at the time. I’m not saying I wanted something amazing with fireworks and romance, but something more than awkward marijuana-induced sex on a cold floor.
Girl C: Not really.
Do you think losing your virginity is a big deal?
Guy A: I’d like to say no, but I think it definitely changes you as a person in a way. Maybe it isn’t as big of a deal as it is made out to be in today’s society, it definitely does hold some significance and is an important part of growing up in my opinion.
Guy B: Absolutely not.
Girl C: Now I do.
What happened to the person you had sex with for your first time?
Guy A: We broke up when he had to go off to University as the distance would have been far too great (plus he went to Western, so I couldn’t be dating a student from there!) so we decided to call it off.
Guy B: She dropped out of high school and I think she works at Dairy Queen now.
Girl C: We broke up shortly after and haven’t spoken since.
Did you tell your friends when you lost your virginity?
Guy A: Yes! Milestone in my life, of course I told my friends.
Guy B: I did. I only told two: one was a friend who betted they could lose their virginity first; the other was my best friend who I told how gross and awful I felt after. They, on the other hand, felt like the entire world needed to know.
Girl C: Yes.
Did you use protection? If yes, what kind? If no, why not?
Guy A: Yes, condoms.
Guy B: Absolutely. We used condoms and some form of spermicide.
Girl C: Yes, condoms.
Stay tuned for Queen’s Sex Talk Realness next Tuesday! If you are interested in participating in future Sex Talks, please message us through our page! Be sure to like our Facebook page for updates.