Dear Parents,
Maybe it’s been a while since your kids have been living at home while in school, maybe it hasn’t. Chances are, whether your kid is coming back from their first year away, their fourth, or still in high school, their study habits have likely changed in the past little while. The important thing to remember is that we are still students. There is a lot of uncertainty right now surrounding our education, whether it is coping with online learning, the stress of possible sinking grades, changes to our grading schemes or how exams will be conducted. A lot of us are dealing with the heavy weight of shortened timelines. We did not get to say a proper goodbye to the place we have called home for so long, or the people who supported us. Our convocation ceremony was ripped from us without warning and although it may not be a big deal to you, it’s huge for us. For some of us, the past few years have not been easy and walking across the stage was a light at the end of a dark tunnel. For others, it was a chance to say goodbye to lifelong friends you may not see for years, and lab partners you bonded with while suffering together. Telling us that there are worse things happening in the world and missing out on convocation isn’t one of them does not take away the loss we feel, but rather makes us feel invalidated.
For those of us who struggle with managing our school stress, the added weight of a global pandemic and the rapid adjustment to a new way of learning is more than we can handle. Even for those of us who manage school stress incredibly well, this is more complicated than ever and we are coping the best we can. Some of us may do our best studying late into the night while others may be early risers. Either way, you telling us when we should and should not be studying does not make this adjustment any easier. However, our lives do not consist solely of eating, sleeping and studying. Taking a break to watch Netflix, or to connect with friends who we abruptly had to say goodbye to does not mean we have time to spare or are being irresponsible students. We need time away from our books to keep our sanity. Asking us how many hours we really study or commenting on how we can’t be that busy if we have time to sit around and relax is not helpful. Hearing these words doesn’t pull us out of a trance of procrastination, it makes us feel guilty and irresponsible for taking time for ourselves. We understand that we may need to help out around the house but allow us to do this on our own time. We may have routines we are trying to maintain in hopes of keeping some form of normality in our lives, so please let us do this. When we choose to relax or get some exercise may greatly impact how we approach the rest of our studying for the day. Please trust that you have raised us well and we will get through this, and the only thing we might need from you is space.
We are still students; we are not home on break. Please listen to us when we tell you what we need. Sometimes the most supportive parent is a parent that gives their kid space when they ask for it.
Sincerely, Students