Lessons Learned from Taking Out the Garbage

My garbage bin sucks. It's giant and smelly, and the only way to move it is by rolling it on its two tiny and very cheap wheels. If it’s more than half full, it begins to rock from side to side, constantly threatening to fall over and display its contents on the sidewalk for all to see. You can be sure that it’s not equipped with snow tires, so trying to pull it through even an inch of snow is unenjoyable to say the least.

And don’t even get me started on the recycling bins. If they’re not overflowing with tuna cans or KD boxes, they’re either full of snow or dripping wet. Nasty.

So, as you can imagine, every time it’s my turn to take out the garbage I can’t think of a more severe form of torture. Send me to clean the McDonald’s bathrooms - I’ll do it! I’Il even clean the Stages bathrooms at 3 a.m. after Stage Rage! I’ll do anything as long as it doesn’t involve tugging that godforsaken garbage bin 50 meters down the street to the front of the house.

Now cut to me, a few Tuesdays ago, walking down Earl Street with Mr. SirSucksALot bin in tow. Thanks to my superb wrist control it didn’t fall over. The one push-up I did that one time in grade 10 allowed me to pull it through the snow just fine. As for the recycling bins, they weren’t even full and everyone seemed to have rinsed out their cans. Hmmm.

I’m beginning to realize this happens every time I take out the garbage. The garbage bin has never fallen over for all to see. It has never gotten stuck in snow, despite its lack of proper tires. I’ve never come back in the house dripping wet from the mysterious recycling bin juices.

Maybe - just maybe - taking out the garbage isn’t as bad as I make it out to be. Maybe I build the Tuesday night terror up in my head a little too much. Maybe taking out the garbage is actually pretty easy.

Could it be that that’s the case with most things in life? I’m beginning to think so. That blood test probably won’t hurt as much as you think it will. That presentation won’t be as terrifying as you worry about. That first date won’t be as awkward as you might predict.

Go out there and do the things that scare you. Chances are, they won’t be half as bad as you think they’ll be. And hey, if things do turn into an embarrassing mess, at least you’ll have a funny story to tell.

Get up and take on your garbage - whatever your garbage may be.