I Have Been Changed For Good

Friendships

I believe that throughout our lives we cross paths with certain people for a reason: to help us grow, to teach us something, to guide and support us. In my opinion, the hardest part is figuring out what that reason is and if it is worth it to keep searching. Knowing when to break ties with someone who we consider a friend puts strain on the heart. When you are blinded by the history and experiences you have shared together, it takes time apart to realize that second, third, and fourth chances are not enough to bring that friendship back to what it was. I find that having a history with someone makes it harder to cut ties, because you feel responsible for them when you shouldn’t be. It’s hard to break away when it feels like you are throwing those countless cherished memories away. It may seem harsh, but, you change, you grow apart, and life happens. While it may seem bittersweet, sometimes the best thing is a much-needed break.  

Friendships shouldn’t be mentally exhausting. I have certain friends where I’m tired of always being the one who texts first; it feels like they aren’t putting in an effort to know what is going on in my life. It feels one-sided because I am interested in how their day went or how they are feeling, but they don’t reciprocate.  I’m tired of friends making quips that hurt me more than they know. I don’t even bother telling them anymore because they don’t listen. They think that it’s okay because “we’re friends,” but that doesn’t give your “friends” an excuse to feed on your insecurities. I’m finally realizing that I actually need to make a change and move on with my life.  

Friends are the ones who will hold your hair up when you throw up; who will tell you everything; who are loyal; who make sure you get home safely, and check up on you to make sure you’re okay. They are the people you are happy to see and enjoy spending time with. They’re people who make time for you, letting you know that they are always there for you and that you can count on them no matter what. They’re people who will text you first and are actually interested in what you have to say - they want to hear your thoughts, opinions and just about your life in general. Friends are people who respect that you are going to make other friends and allow you the freedom to do so. Friends support you, congratulate you on achievements and are genuinely happy for you. There shouldn’t be any envy or animosity towards another, and they shouldn’t make you feel insecure about yourself. Friends lift you up, push you to be better, and help you grow. They should make you feel comfortable with yourself and make you feel accepted.  

If you’re having trouble making friends, don’t worry. Everything happens for a reason and you will find your place–just be patient. There are thousands of kids in university, and it’s time to find people who share the same interests as you and who make you become a better person. There’s no need wasting your time on people who are holding you back or keeping you stagnant. Don’t be scared to make new friends. Surrounding yourself with better people will make you a happier person but a better person too! 

Relationships

For the past year, I have struggled with being single. In grade 12, most people coupled up because they wanted a date to the prom, because they were getting older, or because it was their last year of high school and they wanted to make the most of it. Regardless of the reason, it sucked to be what felt like the only person who remained single while most of my friends were in a relationship. Now, in university with cuffing season happening, I (along with many others) feel the need for a significant other. Luckily, my friends continually remind me that I don’t need a significant other. It took months, but I realized that they’re right. I don’t need a partner; I’ll find one when the time it right. In society, we have been conditioned through movies and novels to think that we need a guy in our lives. We’re so caught up thinking that we need a Prince Charming to come in and save us, when the truth is, we can save ourselves. Although I may want a guy in my life, I don’t need one. There is no point rushing into a relationship with someone if they aren’t going to treat you right. Find someone that accepts you for who you are and don’t settle for less; it’s just going to leave you unhappy.

Self-Love

We often look towards others in search of happiness, approval or fulfillment, but I’m starting to realize that all of that should come from within. Just like everyone else, I have insecurities and flaws. Sometimes they are so overwhelming that I spend hours thinking about them and hating myself. I’ve learned that I have to love myself because I am not always going to have people telling me that they love me nor is it their job to have to constantly tell me that. I need to start prioritizing myself. I’m starting to surround myself with people who are positive and it’s nice for a change. They help me, motivate me, and inspire me. Because I’ve started to surround myself with positive people, I have been able to start accepting myself for who I am, loving every inch of myself--inside and out. I’ve realized that it’s important to feel good in your skin and that people just need to embrace themselves. We all need to find our passion and follow it, never be afraid to do what’s best for ourselves.