How Arrested Development Changed My Life

Have you ever heard someone tell you that *blank* TV show or movie changed their life? Chances are unless you’ve seen it you’re probably sitting there while they give you the monologue about how revolutionary it was thinking that they may or may not be reading way too much into this because movies and TV shows can’t really change your life, can they?

I am a cynic so my default answer to the above question would always tend towards no because if a movie or TV show changed your life…well you’re reading too deeply into it. However, in this case, I can actually think of an exception to the answer. Yes, I can admit that a TV show changed my life.

Actually, Arrested Development managed to simultaneously change and ruin my life. There are things and situations that I will quite honestly never be able to see the same again. And their pesky satirical, clever lines come to mind at the most inopportune moments. Like when a friend is asking you for some money and the only response that comes to mind is ‘there’s always money in the banana stand’. To which they’ll either laugh at your reference (if they've seen the show)…or look at you like you have two heads before completely disowning you.

I can think of at least 10 things/situations that will never be the same for me thanks to Arrested Development, so without further ado, here goes nothing:

1. Jean Cut-offs

I’m sorry but once you see Tobias wearing his jean cut-offs due to him being a never nude, you can just never, and I mean never, go back, and that’s sad for me because my entire summer wardrobe consists of Jean cut-offs (change is good, right?)

2. The word ‘maybe’

To most people it signifies a compromise (halfway between yes and no) or some degree of victory in a argument (because it doesn’t mean no) but I’ll never be able to think of it as simply a word again because hello, people this is a person we are referring to

3. Certain Names

Speaking of names, there are certain names that you just won’t be able to take seriously again Ann or Lucille (loose seal) perhaps?

 

4. Winking

I hate winking. I mean what message are you trying to convey to me exactly by closing one eye vaguely in my direction? That winky-face emoji comes up all the time in texting, but while you’re patting yourself on the back for sending me a winky-faced emoji that’s supposed to imply something (which if we’re being honest I’m not going to pick up on anyways) all I’m seeing is this:

5.  Magic and Magicians

Apparently they take their jobs incredibly seriously and it is highly offensive to refer to what they do as magic ‘tricks’ 

6. When someone tells you not to touch something

You all may be seeing a wet paint sign telling you not to touch the freshly painted wall but all I’m seeing is…

7. Making Mistakes

Mistakes used to be very serious in my world, I hated making them and I hated the embarrassment that ensued from making them but now when I make a mistake I look at the camera and admit to the Ron Howard-esque narrator that yes I did indeed make a mistake

8. The phrase ‘come on'

Need I go any further?

9. Chickens

Okay, I’ll admit that this one might not come up every day but you’d be surprised how often someone calls someone else a chicken as all I can think of is the Bluth Family and their various chicken impressions, coo-coo-catcha, am I right?

10. Greeting my brother

It used to be a question of whether to say hey, or call him simply by his name, but now thanks to Arrested Development a third option has been introduced…

There are definitely more than 10 situations and things in my life that have been changed thanks to Arrested Development, but telling them all to you won't make it as funny when I pull out a random quote next time the opportunity arises. So for now, I'll leave you with my favorite Arrested Development comeback for use the next time you find yourself needing a witty response to an insult (it's a surprisingly useful one). 

Happy Binge-Watching!