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Friend Ghosted: 4 Reasons It May Not Be Your Fault

Ghosting someone is trending in dating culture. Unfortunately this trend has expanded beyond relationships and carried over into friendships. The idea of disappearing from someone’s life without an explanation leaves you wondering what you did wrong or what you could have done to prevent it. So when you find yourself being friend ghosted you feel as if you need and deserve closure but don’t ever receive it.

They’ve got a lot going on

They may not have the emotional energy to entertain other people and feel the need to remove themselves from their relationships with people to focus on their own wellbeing, and we respect that decision. They also could have had something happen during this allegedly emotionally trying time, which has resulted in the decision to close a chapter of their life that you were a part of. That has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them trying to manage their wellbeing first.

They don’t want your frienship to end

They could be going through something that’s causing them to become distant but they know that what they are feeling is temporary and they don’t think they need to reach out. They will do so when they feel ready. You have no control over when they decide to reach out and it can feel disheartening but understand that they’re not trying to hurt your feelings, and they may feel like it’s better to disappear than create any sort of conflict.   

They’re busy

They might be trying to balance everything in their life, and they feel like they’re spreading themselves too thin and can’t prioritize time for everything or everyone they want. It’s not a reflection of them not wanting to end the friendship.

They don’t want to be friends anymore

It’s hard to believe that once you establish a bond with someone it can be so easily disregarded, but it can! You served a purpose in that person’s life. If you genuinely feel as though you haven’t done anything to contribute to the end of this friendship then it could just be that this person has changed and doesn’t feel a desire to have you in their life anymore. There is no fault to be put on anyone for this decision, it just feels like what is necessary for their own growth.

Sometimes the decision for someone to no longer continue a friendship is not a personal attack on the person they are choosing to remove from their life. If a person who has been ghosted genuinely does not understand what events or actions led to the decision for them to become shut out the decision may not be a reflection of them but rather a reflection of the person ghosting. Their personal growth, wellbeing, and priorities do not enable a continuation of the friendship either permanently or temporarily.

Jadyn Petitti

Queen's U '22

Third-year student in Political Science