Reading week in the winter term always comes at a somewhat inconvenient time. In February, the weather is cold and dreary before everyone leaves, but it remains cold and dreary once everyone gets back. It’s harder to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you return to a place that is uninspiring, having assignments piled up in the planner, midterms, exams on the way, no motivation… the list goes on. Something that has made this reading week exceptionally dreary for me is that I am entering the second half of the second semester of third year. The reason this issue is separated from the classic list of depressing things is because it feels like everyone I know is on exchange.
Over this reading week, I had the chance to visit a few friends on exchange in Scotland. The trip was great: I loved being able to see around new cities from the eyes of people that had settled into living there, meet new people, and catch up with friends about their many experiences. Every time I went on social media during that trip, it seemed like every other story on Instagram was someone visiting their friends on exchange. As exciting as it was to see that people were enjoying their break and seeing new things, a different kind of dread for the remainder of the semester settled in while I was on my way home.
Having experienced a slice of my friends’ new and thrilling lives made me realize what I may be missing out on by not going for exchange. Not only am I stuck here in the nasty Kingston winter, but it feels like there is nothing left to explore nor is there new, fun opportunities to excite me. School is piling up and I don’t have the privilege of being surrounded by a new environment to distract myself with. As negative as it sounds, knowing what I was missing out on made it even harder to come back to Kingston.
Even though everything seems so uninspired, being in my negativity spiral was something I knew wasn’t helping me, so I am trying to formulate ways to fill my cup while I see people having the time of their lives in some foreign country. Some solutions I’ve come up with are:
I can spend more one on one time with my friends that are still in Kingston, nourishing and strengthening those relationships. Knowing myself that can range from going out to doing something more chill and intimate like a self-care night. I can try my best to lock in without certain distractions (ahem clubbing ahem) to make sure I’m on track and my marks can stay where I want them to; especially in such an academically demanding semester. I can use this time to focus on myself and my goals like going to the gym, spending time with myself and the people I love, and prioritizing downtime. Things that would typically get lost in my routine if all of my friends were around.
If you find yourself relating to this post-travel depression spiral, remember that there are ways to fulfill your life in a slow and dreary time like this through uplifting yourself and the people around you. It’s easy to drown in negative thoughts, but it is more satisfying to turn that negativity into productivity and acknowledges the privileges you still have in your own environments.