Ah, cuffing season…the time of year when everyone has recovered from their end-of-summer or Thanksgiving breakups and have decided that it’s time to find someone to potentially bring them home for the holidays and finally be able to say, “Yes gramma, I do have a significant other.” For those of us that decide not to participate–or even just don’t find someone to participate with–it can be a trying time. One moment you’re a third wheel, then before you know it, you’re a seventh! Then your only company is a cheesy romcom and cheap wine when it’s date night on friday night! After this you may find yourself sick of being single and downloading a dating app to try and hitch a ride on the couples bandwagon. You take the time to upload carefully curated pictures, maybe even try to come up with a witty bio, but at the end of the day you still find yourself all alone. Sure, you feel a bit of a rush when you get the notification that you’ve matched with someone, but at the end of the day, it’s entirely superficial. You might have some conversations with these matches, or go out for drinks, or even agree to meet up for other purposes. After all is said and done though, chances are that you’ll be right back where you started–cheesy rom coms and cheap wine. Also, If it wasn’t clear, by “you” I mean me, myself, and I.
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Now, this isn’t going to be a piece lamenting the superficial and temporary nature of today’s hookup culture and cuffing season. Rather, it’s me calling bullsh*t. I feel as though the notion of cuffing season brings on some furtive desire in many to seek out a relationship, desperate to wear their significant other’s sweater or to post cute holiday pictures with. Don’t worry, I get it! The weather has changed, pumpkin spice lattes have been traded in for gingerbread lattes, and we’re all beginning to dream of the sweet bliss that’s winter break. No classes, no assignments, and no exams. With the thought of all this upcoming spare, stress-free time, who wouldn’t want to think about spending it with someone else? The thing is though, that life rarely works out the way that we would like it to. So, then, what do we do? Do we just buckle down with a bottle of wine and our favourite movies and accept that the only one we’ll be cuddling with this cuffing season is our pet or blankets?
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The answer is NO! If watching nearly every rom-com and coming-of-age movie on Netflix has taught me anything, it’s that sometimes you need to wipe the mascara off your cheeks, put on a pump-up song, and start faking it till you make it. In fact, until recently Netflix had one movie in particular that I believe to be an apt watch for times like these–How to Be Single. Starring Dakota Johnson, Rebel Wilson, and Leslie Mann, this rom-com is packed with laughs, heartfelt moments, and is topped off with one of my go-to pump-up songs,“Love Myself” by Hailee Steinfeld. Cheesey, I know.
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What I have learned is that it really is okay to step back from cuffing season and decide to date yourself. Seriously, have you ever gone to see a movie, solo? It’s a life changing experience. What about taking yourself out for dinner? I don’t mean ordering in or buying takeout alone, I mean going to a restaurant, sitting down with a book or your phone, and just spending time with yourself over a good, not home-cooked meal. In a world where we constantly have validation and attention from our friends and acquaintances in near-constant and ample supply, it can be easy to forget how to spend time with yourself, and even easier to forget how to be comfortable with doing so.