Ellie Mehltretter is one of a kind: breakfast’s biggest enthusiast, an avid listener of music, and a lover of vacations. Okay, these may literally be the three common denominators of the entire human race, but she’s totally cool and offbeat – I swear. Aubrey Plaza, who? Ellie’s practically Biaggio in The Kings of Summer (go watch the “Camouflage Scene” right now).
I begin our conversation by attempting to conduct a Q&A style interview, but this proves futile as Ellie requires no prompting and speaks freely on a wide array of topics. This could be a sign of an expert interviewee, or merely someone who is desperately lacking human contact. Will report back later.
Her Campus (HC): Tell me about yourself.
Ellie Mehltretter (EM): I’ve got two sisters. Oh, my parents signed up for salsa lessons! Steve was practicing his salsa the other day, and he’s actually better than Mom. My mom is really artistic, so we used to do lots of arts and crafts when we were little. We’d go over to Grandma Patty’s house every Sunday and play with pipe cleaners and Barbies and eat ice cream sandwiches.
HC: Cool… Switching over to music, can you put your iTunes on shuffle and list a few songs that come up?
EM: I listen to really weird music. Turned my iTunes on today and Never Shout Never’s song “Big City Dreams” came up. Nice blast from the past. Before I started high school, my family listened to a lot of Women & Songs on our ski trips; now that we’re a bit older we all listen to REM. Women & Songs actually belonged to Steve. The Moulin Rouge and A Walk to Remember soundtracks are bomb. Avril Lavigne keeps coming up -another safe one for the family car rides.
It is at this point that we lose Ellie to her own agenda. I fear I’ve lost her to a force I know not.
EM: Big fan of Kim and Kanye. They’re the best.
EM: When I was little, my mom told us we each had a song. Mine was “Brown Eyed Girl,” Annie’s was “I Love You Always Forever,” and Sam’s was some random song that none of us can remember.
Ellie pauses to reach for a container of food.
HC: What are you eating?
EM: I’ve got some chocolate covered pretzels in front of me, but I can’t open them.
A puzzled expression falls upon her face.
EM: My family’s doing a 10k this June. We did a Father’s Day 5k last year. I have to be able to run 10k first, then I want to be able to run it in less than an hour.
Ellie is finally able to pry off the weak plastic lid covering her beloved snack-things.
EM: In grade five, I did this thing for Statistics Canada. They gave me $100 to analyze my physical fitness. I did some sit-ups, push-ups, and stretches for flexibility. It was in a trailer. Like, they had a bunch of trailers. They had to pinch my back to measure my body fat. I gave them my blood. I came up vitamin D deficient. Keep in mind that I drank, like, half a bag of milk every day.
EM: I feel like this interview is a hard-hitting exposé.
I decide to try an experiment. I begin to say random words and observe if Ellie will respond well to this intrusion into her personal monologue.
Dumbledore.
Toothbrushes.
Pomegranate.
Juice.
Seth Rogen.
James Franco.
Ellie pauses to drop liquid from an Opti-Free Replenish 300mL bottle into her eyes.
San Francisco.
I want to go.
Ellie pauses to crack her jaw. When I inquire as to whether everything is alright, she responds by saying, “I’ve always had TMJ.”
Tyra Banks.
Hell yeah. I know how to smize. I remember Tyra was teaching someone how to smize and told her to think of something that made her happy. The girl said noodles make me happy, so Tyra told her to think about her noodles.
Ellie pauses to confess yet another closely guarded secret: “I’m embarrassed about how long I watched Family Channel.”
Ace Ventura.
I know that word. But I don’t know what it is.
Ellie pauses again to say, “I associate scent with memory. The scent I associate with my jaw surgery recovery is the cool damp of my basement, chocolate milk, and Percocet.”
EM: I can do a three-leaf clover with my tongue.
I think we’ll leave the interview there, Ellie.